Letting Go of Fear Will Set You Free
For the first half of my life, I was the type of girl who was scared of everything. I hid in the corners at parties, turned bright red when my teachers called on me in class, dreaded walking up and introducing myself to people, was terrified of talking to guys, and shied away from big crowds. In other words, I was a total wimp.
I started to grow out of these fears when I was halfway through high school, but I was still a socially awkward mess. My self-esteem issues made me an easy target for getting picked on and it sucked. I let the dumbest things embarrass me and my fears were paralyzing my everyday life.
It wasn’t until my early twenties that I finally started to realize how dumb it was to be scared of everything. It really didn’t matter what other people thought of me, if I screwed up, and that I didn’t know all the answers or the right things to say in every situation. I started to let go of my fears one by one, and embrace change. If you want more out of life and love, you have to believe in yourself first and then start taking risks.
Life Is Too Short to Stay Stuck
In my quest for change, I decided I needed to get some spice in my life. My inner voice told me the first step was to escape from sleepy suburbia. I wanted more culture, better weather, great food, new opportunities, and an exciting social life. So I packed 2 suitcases, bought a 1-way ticket cross country to San Francisco, and never looked back.
I didn’t have a job waiting for me there, no family members nearby, and only about $500 in my checking account. Risky? Yes! But I was tired of feeling stuck and living in other people’s shadows, so I took a chance.
It was the craziest thing I’d ever done and it felt fantastic! I finally felt like my life was in motion. It took a lot of networking, job applications, and tons of rejections, but the more I reached out to people and put myself out there, the more things started to move. I followed every lead and ended up getting an amazing job with a small business owner.
If I hadn’t made the choice to let go of my fears and start taking risks, I would still be a scared and lonely gal with one boring and unsuccessful life.
Happiness is a Choice
Some people are born optimists. Others like me, and perhaps you too, have to stumble along and go through all sorts of craziness and darkness before finding a path of positive thinking.
My life was stuck in a stand still before I started to take risks. I was depressed, moody, and frustrated until I learned to squash my fears, stop worrying so much, and focus on the positives. Once I decided to get up, take action and break out of my funk, my life turned around completely. If I can do it, you can too!
You don’t need all the answers now or a laundry list of awards under your belt to be happy. Make the choice to find the positives in yourself and every situation. You’re more powerful than you think!
The power of our minds
Once I began to take control of my thoughts and started thinking in a new way, my life started moving forward. My mind had been holding me hostage for years by filling my thoughts with fears of failure, fears of embarrassment, fears of taking action.
Untemplater will show you how to shatter the template lifestyle, but ultimately YOU have to believe that you can have a better life, and be willing to change. Even if this isn’t something you’re comfortable with right now, that’s okay. We all have different tolerances for risk and embracing change.
Just try to keep an open mind and recognize that even though our minds are powerful, they can also get lazy and stall. Apathy is a clever trick our mind traps us with because it attacks when we’re weak.
So if you want to change your life around, you better be prepared to dodge these types of traps. It takes determination, initiative, and optimism to get your life off of autopilot.
The Untemplate Lifestyle Has Never Been More Realistic
The amount of free resources out there today is phenomenal, especially since I can remember the days before the Internet. There’s no reason to keep making excuses and putting your dreams on hold anymore. If you’re willing to put in the effort, you can break free of the fears and roadblocks that are leaving you stuck in a template lifestyle.
Focus your energy on seeking out the career, relationships, and life experiences that make you come alive!
Untemplaters, what are your biggest fears now and what fears have you overcome? What are you willing to do to shatter the template lifestyle? Are you ready to start thinking like an optimist?
It’s weird how life works. Honestly. I’m glad I found this post of yours and I’m glad I read all of these comments. I realize now, starting today that I need to just stop being so scared of everything. The things I’m scared of are dumb and holding me back and I feel my life eating me up everyday and I hate it. I’m crying so hard because I can’t believe It’s taken me so long. I’m surprised my boyfriend loves me so much despite how afraid I am to take certain risks. He’s a risk taker. I just got out of the army in November 2015 and i have been having a hard adjustment back to this lifestyle financially, mentally and physically… I’ve just been so scared to get up and get my life back on track. Idk what it is but I am not gonna let it hold me back any longer.
I was just standing in my kitchen cooking lunch and I had music playing and dido – life for rent comes on and by the second verse I was like what am I doing? Why am I being so scared? Why why why ya know? I looked up the lyrics and really read them and it hit me that my life IS for rent and I do want to buy and I need to start acting like it.. Then I saw your post. It’s all in the mind! Yes! Ugh I just feel such a breakthrough and I’m so glad. I am still a little scared but I really feel more inspired than ever to start taking a chance and turning everything around. Thank you guys. So much!! it was meant for me that song to come on and for me to see this and I finally see the signs and I’m gonna start my journey! Truly inspired!
Great post, Sydney. I still hate public speaking myself, but I’ve had a bit of a similar journey to you in that at one point in my life I was like a turtle withdrawn into its shell. The roadblocks we can place on ourselves sometimes! Thanks for sharing an inspiring post with us.
Doesn’t it feel so good to go from being withdrawn to confident?! We really do make life difficult for ourselves a lot of times. Once we come face to face with the obstacles and fears we’ve manifested in our life it becomes so much easier to start knocking them down and moving forward.
I was that shy person when I was young. I would cringe if I even thought a teacher was going to call on me. At this stage in my life I am more outgoing, but I definitely DREAD public speaking. That has never changed.
Public speaking is a tough one. I still get nervous if I have to give a presentation, but I’ve learned not to let it stress me out if I prepare enough ahead of time. Getting called on in class was always scary until I switched to all girls classes. That made such a difference for me in terms of confidence and interest in the class materials. I’m glad you’ve come to be more outgoing Lisa. 🙂
Wow, you sound like my twin! I hated change and feared failure. I always played it safe. Taking chances does make life more worthwhile. It also helps you adapt to surprises. Living in a bubble stifles you and makes mountains out of molehills. Nice job!
That’s cool you can relate! Yeah that’s a good point about being better able to adapt to surprises because there are always going to be things we can’t anticipate. Thanks Buck!
I used to be that quiet, shy, scared girl in the corner too! College started me on my journey to self confidence and motherhood made me a fierce, bold woman!
Good for you for breaking the mold and encouraging others to do so as well.
That’s fantastic Marie! Life is so much better when we finally accept who we are and stop worrying about what others think and focus more on LIVING! 🙂
Happiness is a state of mind. There is so much more positive going on in the world around us, you just have to take the time to look and you will see it. If you watch the news media or read the paper you would think that the world is full of bad people. That is simply not true. It really does come from within if you let it! Thanks for sharing that one Sydney..
Thanks Paul! The news can really be a major downer. They love to over dramatize things and focus on suffering and crime. I had to tell my dad to stop watching the news last year because he was getting so discouraged and sad. He told me later his moods got so much lighter and that keeping the TV off made a big difference!
Many years ago, I read Psycho-cybernetics which discusses the power of positive thinking and success. . It helped me change my perspective.
Ooo I am intrigued by that title. I will have to see if I can reserve it from the library! It took me a fair amount of time to find positive thinking but wow what a difference it makes!
Eh? What on earth is psycho cyber? Is that code word for being an optimist? Cause I think that’s what it sounds like and what we all should be!
haha I think so. I just found in the library catalog and put in a hold request so I’ll let ya know after I read it.
I think you hit the nail on the head when you said taking RISKS. You never know what lies ahead. Just think where you’d be if you didn’t listen to your inner voice!
I gave up my corporate career (almost 4 years ago) and never looked back. Was that risky, heck ya. Did I suffer a lot of “craziness and darkness”? yep!
Would I do it over, YES!
I love that you took a chance, got through the tough stuff, and came out on top and happier than ever. That’s so true about not knowing what’s ahead even without risks. We never know what could happen tomorrow so we gotta make the most out of today!
This is going to be a sure entry in my next round up. I like this stories of dare devil risk taking. I commend on your achievement!
Thanks so much SB! I never thought of myself as a dare devil. 🙂 It feels good taking risks even if we don’t know where/when/how we’ll end up. Even if we fail, we can always get back up!
Congrats for making the move out west! I lived on the east coast for 15 years, and when I got out here, I kind of cursed myself for wondering why I didn’t come out sooner!
Taking risks is a scary endeavor, but so many good things come out of risk-taking. It’s so well worth the risk!
We’ve got to love ourselves before we can love others. Thanks for sharing your story!
Thanks Linda. Glad you made it out west! That’s funny you wished you came out earlier. It is pretty awesome here! As for me, I think I got here at just the right time because I had so much drive to make things work out at that point in my life, which I didn’t have several years before. So it worked out well.
Love it! From sleepy suburbia out east to a much bigger city in San Francisco. That must have been very scary, but at the same time, liberating too. I remember you telling me that you’ve always wanted to live in San Francisco, and one day you just decided to do it.
Happiness really is a choice. I believe that very strongly. We can be optimists, or we can be pessimists. It’s infinitely more fun to be an optimist!
Like you say in your title, a lot of it is in your mind. We really don’t need that much money to be happy. We don’t need that any friends to be happy. We just need a happy mind, and we’ll attract some goodness around us.
Best, Sam
It was really liberating! And I did it at the right time. If it had been a few years before I probably would have given up after a few weeks and gone back home. I was at a point where I was ready for a change and knew I had to find a way to make things happen.
My happiness levels became so much higher once I changed the way I saw the world and myself. I used to feel sorry for myself all the time when I was a teen and in my early 20’s and that’s just dumb. Everything happens for a reason and things can’t go right 100% of the time. If we learn to embrace change, get up when we fail and look for the bright side of things, we can get through anything.