For those of you who are dads, Happy Father’s day! It’s hard to believe summer is here and Father’s Day has snuck up on us again. It’s a slightly awkward holiday for me, as I never quite know what to get my dad, so I usually just send a card and give him a ring hello. He lives several states away so I don’t get to see him that often.
It’s always been a mystery to me how some daughters are so close to their dads. When I was little I hung out with my father a lot. But as I grew up, tension in my family grew as well and my parents ended up separating.
After my parents split, my dad moved away to find work, and I ended up living with my mom full time. So I only got to see my dad on holidays a few times a year. Sadly, the miles that separated us also lead me to feel distanced from him emotionally, and things were always a bit awkward after that when I saw him.
Looking past all of that though, there are many things that I love about my dad that I will always treasure. Here are a quick few.
Smoking is Bad
My dad started smoking at a super young age and got extremely addicted. However, he made a promise never to smoke in front of me, or my sister, and he kept it. I could always tell when he’d just come back from a smoke and didn’t like the way it smelled. He didn’t want us to see him smoking because it was his unshakeable weakness, and he didn’t want us to get sick from 2nd hand smoke. That taught me how serious smoking is and I didn’t want to have any part in it. I’ve never touched a cigarette in my life and will forever keep it that way.
You Can Build Anything
He taught me that there’s nothing wrong with girls knowing how to use tools and fix things. We built everything together and it was so much fun. Bookcases, roll top desks, bunk beds, shelves, tables, lamps, and more. He showed me all the tools in his workshop, taught me their names and how to use them. We’d also take trips to the hardware store together for supplies and he’d teach me about even more things there too. All the sales guys new him by name and I thought that was so cool.
Nature is magical
It still amazes me that my dad is a walking nature encyclopedia. He knows about insects, birds, frogs, bears, deer, trees, rivers, snakes, you name it. Whenever I had a question about an animal, plant, or something involving nature – he had the answers. We went on camping trips together, gazed at the stars, picked wild blackberries and crabapples, and watched animals come out of the woods to graze. It was like magic.
Sit Quietly and Soak it in
As a man of few words, except when it comes to politics and money troubles, my pops doesn’t like to fill all the silence with conversation. He taught me how to sit quietly and gaze outdoors, listening to the music of the cicadas and the crickets. Nature is always talking to us, we just have to stop and listen.
Thanks Dad, Happy Father’s Day…
Untemplaters, what are some of your favorite memories and words of advice from you dad?
My father also lives several states from myself, so I know exactly how you feel. My parents went through a nasty divorce, with me caught in the middle, so unfortunately I only get to see my father once a year. I know what you mean when you say you didn’t get to know your father because I didn’t either. what makes it worse is that I have a half sister who does get to live with him (switching back and forth between him and her mother) she finds it difficult to understand why I am jelous of her. I guess this is my way of venting, I love what you posted.
Always,
O.C.
Hi OC. Sorry to hear about your parents. Once a year isn’t often at all to see your dad but I hope the time you do get to spend with him is special. Hopefully someday your sis will come around and be more understanding of your feelings too. These things are hard.
I didn’t realize how much my dad missed me in between visits until recently and I wish I was more open and understanding of what he was going through back then. I was so caught up in my own discomfort and my own thoughts that I forgot to have fun when we were together. Hang in there!
I can’t help to think about my own father after I read your stories. Your father has taught you so many wonderful things! I feel sad that you couldn’t spend more time with him. I myself wish my father were still around, so that I could share my stories with him. For that reason, I cherish every moment I have to visit my mother. And I love to see her gentle smile when I talk. I made her laugh so hard yesterday when I repeated a joke I heard the other day!
Thanks for your sweet comment. I don’t have any regrets about not spending more time with my dad when I was growing up. The separation was what was best for my parents and they are now both much better people because of it. I’m staying in touch with my dad a lot more now too and I can tell he likes that.
Sorry to hear that your father passed and I’m so glad you are able to spend time with your mother and be there for her. That’s great you shared a great laugh together! I love to laugh and have found it helps me feel less stressed when I’m super busy.
Your dad sounds cool. I’m sure he’s happy that you didn’t start smoking like he did.
So are you still into getting your hands dirty and fixing things?
Some of my favorite memories of my dad are when he talks about his hot streaks when he goes to Vegas. He could go on and on about it. It makes him happy and they’re fun to hear.
Thanks! I’m so glad I didn’t ever start smoking too. My allergies are bad enough as it is.
Yes I’m proud to say I’ve assembled all of the furniture that the Mr. and I own that didn’t already come already assembled. He doesn’t have the patience for that kind of stuff and for some reason I think it’s fun. lol I also learned a lot about plumbing this year dealing with leaks in the kitchen and tank problems in the bathroom. I always try to fix something myself first to save money and to learn more about how things work.
That’s awesome your dad has great stories about Vegas. Winning streaks are the best!
Thanks for sharing your story about your dad Sydney. This is amazing, “He taught me how to sit quietly and gaze outdoors, listening to the music of the cicadas and the crickets. Nature is always talking to us, we just have to stop and listen.”
I can see you two now. I can see myself doing he same think. Thanks for the imagery!
My advice to my dad is to just smile more. I just want him to be happy.
Best, Sam
Thanks Sam! Having happy smiling parents feels so good. My moms struggled with depression when I was in high school and it was tough. I had to pick her up emotionally and it didn’t always last that long. My dad is pretty easy to please with an hour long phone call to catch up and listen to his stories. He loves to tell the same stories and I sit back and listen.
I hope your dad is okay and can start to smile more. Next time you talk to him think of a few ways to get him to laugh. We can’t laugh without smiling!! 🙂