This past weekend my mom came to visit me. At dinner, she asked me how my internship was going and I told her it was going really well. I told her that I’ve been learning a lot, meeting and interacting with a lot of really awesome people. [I’m looking at you, readers!]
“What’s this website about?” she asked.
I did my best trying to explain the various topics we cover here at Untemplater.com as well as our diverse audience and writers, but I had the hardest time. Eventually she just told me to write down the website address for her so she can look at it later.
This short feeling of discomfort made me think, “If I’m having this much trouble explaining the concept of the website to my mom, what’s it like for the people who are fully immersed and focused on designing and living an untemplated lifestyle to explain themselves to their friends and loved ones?”
So, how do you explain your lifestyle to others outside of this community, to those who are living within the template? Do you have a point-by-point bullet script that you use or does your description change with each interaction? What tips can you provide for others who struggle to explain their untemplated life to the templated?
I tell people that, plain and simple, I’m ignoring the “real world” and following my dreams. =)
first of all, congrats on the kick ass internship!
as for your question, I also say I’m a writer. It’s easier to say than a SEO web content writer/blogger/social media marketer updating facebook/twitter accounts for clients while I travel the world and sustain a part-time income quite well in Asia + some saved money. 😛
I love this topic and it’s something I’ve thought about for a while. While I don’t live the Untemplater lifestyle yet, I’m on my way. It’s funny because none of my friends or my parents know I have a couple blogs. Most of them have no idea what a blog is. I’ve often wondered how I’m eventually going to explain my untemplater lifestyle to others. People have a real hard time understanding diversions from the norm, especially those of our parents’ generation (I’m 29). But what I have come to realize early on is that it doesn’t matter what other people think, as long as I’m living my dream life. A good friend has a better saying: “What other people think of me is none of my business.” If you can adopt that attitude, you’ll be a helluva lot more relaxed!
Personally, I don’t, really.
If I’m really pressed into saying something, it’s more along the lines of, “Oh, I dabble in a few things…. (list things)” rather than one or two things.
Then again, I don’t really have a drastically different lifestyle than most, and being a military wife I probably won’t run into the issue a whole lot. (Obviously I’m supported by my husband, and most wives don’t work, in my experiences. So what I do doesn’t mean a whole lot to them.)
Of course, I have on a couple of occasions answered the, “what do you do?” question with, “I race my cars.” 😀 Because I do! Also fun since nobody forgets me afterwards, lol.
I love the question Dariane,
It’s a question me and my nonconforming friends used to ask our selves quite often (and still do).
I think the answer is…you should answer different each person you speak to.
You may be talking to a person who needs guidance…In that case, speak with enthusiasm and empathy for their situation (we are all there in some respects)
You may be taking to a pretentious uber professional professional …in that case say “you know what..I don’t think you would understand”
You may be talking to your parents…in that case tell them that you love what you’re doing, you are making a difference and you will still be able to buy them that car your promised them when you 12.
The “elevator pitch” depends on who is standing in the elevator with you. Cater your explanation, don’t be overly descriptive and have fun with it!
I say I’m living a ‘mobile lifestyle’ and try to explain my business as basically as possible. But often people don’t get it, that or are very jealous, that or don’t think I have a “Real job” because I am doing my own thing and making money online and off with my main business. Awesome question you pose 🙂
I find it easiest to describe concrete things that I do on a day-to-day basis (“I work with Chinese lawyers to build their confidence and fluency in English” or “I help an American professor with his environmental law research” or “I have been reflecting a lot about my goals”) rather than make a broader statement about lifestyle.
like some of the other comments, i make a conscious effort to not answer the “what do you do?” question with how i make my money. i answer with what i do… write, hike, travel, etc.
as for how i explain the lifestyle… “i do more of what i want, and less of what i don’t” which allows them to follow up with questions rather than my trying to explain things in one sentence
If you’re feeling particularly feisty, you can try something like, “You know all those things you wish you could do but never have the money or the time?…That’s what I do.”
I like this one myself, lol. 😉
I love this, Tyler!
Sometimes the best way to start an explanation is to start with a question right back to begin a dialogue rather than a speech. Like:
Q:”What is this website about?”
A/Q: “Well, you know how people are generally pressured to live a recognizable lifestyle?”
A: “Yes, I guess you’re right.”
A: “Well we share differences, and help people break barriers.”
…or something. Just be ready to follow up. Asking a question back puts you in a position to lead the explanation. Come up with a question right back that gets a conversation moving.
Thanks for the suggestion! I guess a fear I have in using that approach is if I ask, “Well you know how…” that the response I’ll get is, “Uhh, no.” Hehe
Haha. Yea. I guess either way one has to learn to Xplain themselves. Such is life.
Yup, similar to ERE I have yet to figure that one out. “Oh, we’re just taking a few years off from work” just opens the door to many more questions.
My wife and I are living free on a resort now, teaching yoga and astronomy for an hour or two a day respectively. I guess I could say I’m an astronomer, but that’s not terribly accurate either.
I have been working on this problem for a year and I have eventually gravitated towards a solution that normal people can relate to. What people usually ask is what “you do for a living”. Of course I could fire off something clever like mention one of my hobbies since life shouldn’t be defined by one’s job, but I’m not smooth enough to pull that one off. I also tried using different explanations according to who I was talking to: Board member, blogger, sailor, bike mechanic, scientist, … but that was too complicated. So now I simply say I’m a writer. Possibly I mention my blog and the book I’m working on. The next question is whether it is possible to live off that? Then I say I saved a bunch of money while I was working. This avoids too much explaining about the concept of financial independence and managing investments, etc. I used to say I was a capitalist and living off of investment returns which albeit true never came across that well. Neither did “early retired”; people would look at me and see that I was 20 years younger than their typical image of an early retiree. So I say I’m a writer living off of my savings.
I’m a business development and community consultant and I’ve been gravitating towards saying, “essentially, I’m a writer”. That really does sum it up. And if it does lead to more questions, at least their questions will be on track.
I like how your approach is short and sweet, that you’ve found something to sum it all up.
Just curious, what kind of responses did you get from telling people you are “early retired”? How are those responses different from saying you’re a “writer”?
Mostly people would either think it was a joke or hear it as “unemployed”. Then later they would ask if I had found a job … ugh!