For the past few years, I’ve struggled with all my might to live how I want and to be who I want to be.
By joining clubs and organizations I gained a variety of experiences and skills. I immersed myself in situations I’d never been in before, and I looked for hobbies and activities that could improve my life. Despite all my attempts I was left feeling dissatisfied. Nothing inspired me, I didn’t have a passion and I had no idea what I wanted to be. Meanwhile, I created a veneer with which people perceived me for what I did instead of who I was. Just when I thought I was going through the right motions to get to where I thought I wanted to be, I began to seriously fail at the things I aspired for. I was drowning and I couldn’t figure out why.
As many people mention here at Untemplater there’s a breaking point or a catalyst that pushes you in a completely different direction. Often times that direction is the one you probably should have taken to begin with. This is exactly what happened to me just two months ago.
A series of events got me into a certain mindset and that mindset created a series of events that got me to where I am now. I discovered that I knew all along what life I wanted and who I wanted to be. I was dishonest with myself because the life I wanted was too difficult to achieve. I was dishonest with everyone else because I was too ashamed to reveal what I must overcome to get there.
You see, I grew up as a child of hoarders. My home is filled to the brim with clutter and it’s been years since we’ve had anyone over at our house. At best some areas have pathways inches wide to pass through. At worst some areas are completely inaccessible. You know how you feel when your desk is stacked with papers you have to sort through? It feels like that but 20 times worse. The stuff becomes so overwhelming it paralyzes you socially, emotionally and psychologically. Even after I moved away to college, I still felt haunted by all of the stuff.
I can’t let something like this sabotage the lives of me and my family members. I know exactly what’s holding me back. I’m finally taking a stand.
For the next two months I will be embarking on what I’m calling the Stuff Project. I’ll be working 40 hours a week for eight weeks to clean my entire house without any help from professional cleaners and organizers. And of course, I’ll be documenting the process along the way.
I finally feel like I’m doing the right thing at the right place and at the right time. I can’t move forward when I have stuff holding me back, both literally and figuratively. I’m tired of feeling ashamed. I’m more than ready to feel proud of who I am and what I must overcome to be who I want to be.
Have you thought about going on that TLC show, Hoarding: Buried Alive?
http://tlc.discovery.com/tv/hoarding-buried-alive/apply-for-the-show.html
Good luck with your project! I grew up with a father who is a borderline hoarder and honestly I can easily see myself going down that path as well, but I have been strict and disciplined and try to get rid of as much stuff as I can. I will be interested in seeing how this goes and future updates!
I love this project. It’s so refreshing and such a beautiful gift you can give to yourself and family. I told you this on Twitter but I have read every single blog post you’ve put up so far, and I’ll be checking in daily to see what’s new.
Also, I think something fun would be to auction some of your stuff on Ebay. The Polly Pockets! I collected those like crazy. I spent so much of my allowance on them, and now I have no idea where they are, lol. Probably gave them away a long time ago… but I have no doubt some of the stuff you find could be worth good money to collectors.
And I know that when you are done cleaning, you will be ready to start a new life! Can’t wait until The Stuff Project is complete.
Thanks Monica! I am most DEFINITELY going to auction some of my stuff on eBay. It’d be neat to have something like a “Stuff Project Store” and all the proceeds can go to fixing up broken items and appliances in our house or possibly a full-on renovation. I’m not sure that I can sell my Polly Pockets though because most of the sets are incomplete.
Good luck. I grew up with the “don’t throw it away, I might find a use for it later” mentality. When I got married and moved out of my home of 19 years, I had to get rid of a lot of stuff, possibly close to 40% of everything I owned. I won’t claim to a minimalist; my wife and I have three full bookcases of books, DVDs, and collectibles.
Thank you! I understand the “I might use it later” mentality quite well because I hear it over and over again in my household. I think it becomes a problem when the mentality is used for things people normally dispose such as egg cartons, potato chip bags, or used plastic cups. There’s also a difference between being a collector and being a hoarder for sure.
Oh, I’ve been there. My immediate family was never quite that bad, but I have relatives that are. I have an aunt with over 50lbs of yarn, and yet I’ve never actually seen her knit or crochet.
I can totally relate to what you did — trying a bunch of things and searching for that spark.
Then again, I enjoy trying new things… I like new experiences, and when I find something that speaks to me I hold onto it. (So far, that’s writing, photography and cars.)
This project is a great idea — it’s going to be intense! My husband and I recently moved half-way across the country (Arkansas to Washington state) and we did it all with a 14′ truck, car trailer and our other two sports cars. I feel like we have a lot of stuff, but compared to everyone around us we hardly have anything!
I just like to make sure the things we have add to our lives and not just act as clutter. 🙂
You’re right, this project is super intense!
Oh and don’t get me wrong, I LOVE trying new things! I just think somewhere along the way I didn’t find that spark, and I focused less on the enjoyment of a new experience and more on spark searching. :]
Best of luck with this. I’m entering my senior year of school and recently moved into a new house. I was astounded by the amount of *crap* that I’ve accrued the past few years. I cannot have this much junk when I graduate, so I’ll definitely be following along with you as I weed out my life.
Thank you! It is quite interesting as you sort through your things to see exactly what you’ve accumulated. It also helps you see the things that you shouldn’t acquire in the future. :] Best of luck to you as well!
Nice post and good luck on this. When I made my exodus from Worcester, MA to Madison, WI, I had a 10 foot box truck full of things to furnish my 700 sq. foot loft. When I went from Madison, WI to Boulder, CO, I only had what fit in my Toyota Yaris and moved it into a 12×8 bedroom in a house. I’m much happier and neater now! haha
Thanks! Wow you you fit your stuff in a Yaris? Is it one of those hatchback two-doors because if so, that is very impressive!
BTW, I was totally in Colorado going between Denver and Boulder just a few weeks ago. Very gorgeous over there.
I tried doing that in college once. Got everything into my 87 Corrolla hatchback. Had to fit my dinosaur 30lb printer (which I still have and still works great) on my lab and had to bend my arm sideways to reach the shifter.