Three years ago I decided that I liked traveling so much that I wanted to make a lifestyle that allowed me to travel. So, I did it. After a year of saving money and planning, I went from Mexico to Argentina by land, learned Spanish, and made innumerable memories along the way. I’m now in my second year of living outside of my home country, and I have no intentions of changing this in the near future.
Quite often I get people who simply say to me, “I wish I could do what you are doing.”
And my answer is always the same: “You can. What is stopping you?”
I usually leave my response there just to see what the other person says. Typically it is a list of commitments that they have and they feel like they can’t leave. Maybe it’s kids, or a mortgage, or a mound of debt, or a job, or pets that they feel like tie them into one spot. Sometimes, it’s just an emotional barrier of fear of the unknown or a fear of failure.
And then my usual response is “If you want to do it, then I think you can do it.” And then I usually leave it at that.
Quite often what happens is that people realize that any of the barriers that they have put up as reasons not to do long-term travel can be easily traversed. They figure out on their own that kids and dogs can be brought along. They think of a way to sell or rent their house while they are gone. They realize that money is only an object if they let it be.
The irony in all of this is that they had all the answers to their own questions. Sure, I can answer a lot of questions about my lifestyle. I can tell you how I track my expenses. I can tell you how I saved money for over a year to be able to quit my job. I can tell you how I went about selling my car and my furniture. I can tell you about a lot of things, but I don’t need to. The truth is you know the answer. You just need to take the first step.
What we all need, including myself, is the ability to trust ourselves. We need to trust ourselves that whatever obstacles come our way, we can figure out how to get through them. We need to trust our decision making and realize that we’ll probably make mistakes but that it’s OK. We need to trust that we don’t know where the road is going and that we can make our own map. All we need is this little bit of trust and we can take the first step.
And this is why I try not to dole out too much advice. I’m not the expert in you. The person who knows you the best is you. I believe that you know what you need to do in order to live the life you want to live, and I believe that you know what is best for you.
So, think about what kind of life you want to live. Now think about what is preventing you from starting that life. Then ask yourself the question “What’s the first step I can do to start living this life?” I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised by how easy it is to start.
becky says
Kyle, I can totally relate to this post as someone who is 33 and living in another country for awhile. But you know what I’ve figured out? Only about 1/3 of the people who actually say “I wish I could do that,” actually want to do it. Most people just say it wistfully but don;t want to actually change.
I like your replies to that type of person because it is encouraging yet short. I have mistaken way to many insincere desires as sincere and spent a lot of time e-mailing them with facts, info and encouragement. Turns out they didn’t want or need it and I wasted a lot of my time. Thanks for the article!
Kyle says
Thank you for the kind words. I believe what you say is also true that for many people it is just a wistful, passing hope. I try to keep it short for my own sanity and because I think what I do is not that special; I really haven’t done anything that takes any sort of special skills or knowledge. I just did it and figured out things along the way.
Change is really hard for a lot of people, though, so I understand how hard it is to start doing something different. However, I think anyone can at least initiate a change within themselves and see where it goes from there.
Financial Samurai says
Enjoy Mexico! Love the food and the ruins.
Is it bad if my dream life is to make millions of dollars while having fun, and then retire early and then go to Mexico and everywhere else? 🙂
Kyle says
Well, no and yes. It’s always good to have goals to strive for. But… Why do you have to wait to retire to go to Mexico? Why not do it while you are young and able? Time is the most precious non-renewable resource, so I would make sure you are spending it doing the things that you really want to do. If you want to go to Mexico and everywhere else, figure out how to do it and do it now.
Meg says
^That is so, so true about time. Pretty much my driving factor — I can always make money, I won’t always have time. I’d rather have the time than the money.
Meg says
I’ve already taken steps towards my dream life, it’s just a radically different dream life than most! It’s the cars that do it for me, owning them, driving them, modifying them, racing them. With three beautiful girls to call my own, I’m pretty far along in my dream life for only 21. 🙂 (The husband helps, of course! We’re gearheads.)
What’s funny is that when people talk of “dream lives,” it most often involves travel. I definitely plan on seeing the world and taking trips, but anything more than a month for me would be too much. I do plan on moving to Europe, eventually, but as a more permanent thing… As in, taking the cars with me.
At any rate, there isn’t much holding us back but the money and the space. The logistics of us moving three cars cross-country in a few months sucks, and we want to add a fourth in the next few years. Certainly not easy, but absolutely worth doing in my opinion. 🙂
Kyle says
Well, if travel isn’t your thing, then do what is. I like traveling, but I realize that it’s not for everyone, so if you don’t really want to do it, don’t force it. If cars are your thing, then I’m sure there is definitely a way for you to live a life where you can do all the things you want with cars. It sounds like you are already taking the first steps. Congrats!
Edward - Entry Level Dilemma says
I think more people should go ahead and do this. It will leave more jobs for me here! 🙂
Kyle says
That’s what I call a win-win situation!
Brian says
Kyle,
Over the past few weeks i have really considered making this leap. My hesitation comes from the financial side of me though. Being a personal finance guy, i know i need to have my bases covered as my mid-twenties are the most important years for investing. So if i could make good american money while traveling and living abroad, i would do it in a heartbeat. That leads me to my question for you. What is it you do to try and bring in income? Unfortunately, my trade is quite specialized and lends itself to the traditional 9-5 environment (more like 8-8) and being part of an active and present team.
While i am working to build sustainable side projects and consulting gigs, they just don’t show the financial backbone that the position i currently have or will have in the future does. However, if i can pull a few things off this year, i may be able to put myself in savings mode as you did.
There are some good posts along the way specifically talking about how much it costs to live abroad for a year. Maybe next month you can expose a bit of your expenses to everyone, as those true stories of people making it work are incredibly appealing to me.
Kyle says
First, we (my wife and I) were really frugal and saved up for a year-log trip. We then ran out of money, so we are now teaching English in Korea, which will give us more cushion money for another year, if needed.
I wouldn’t say that I’m good at planning…I tend to figure out things on the way. We do have a website of our own (outside of our blog) that is due out soon and we’re planning on using that to generate income.
Either way, we’re keeping our options open, so who knows what might be a revenue source one year from now.
Kyle Crum says
I think fear stops people. When doing something new, you have to be not afraid to fail. But, I would rather fail doing something I want to do than be successful at something that I don’t.
Emily M. says
I think that in some cases (like being a student with a year left of college) those barriers can be goals as well. I know that I have at least another year until I graduate and will be able to travel the world, but that gives me a year to invest in research and build up my savings to help fund my future.
Kyle Crum says
True, as long as you keep your eye on the prize. I’ve seen a lot of people plan years for something and the planning keeps dragging on. In other words, don’t blow those savings and don’t skip (all) your classes 🙂
Emily M. says
That’s definitely a good thing to be weary of. I’d like to talk more with you (and other members of the untemplater team) on how to help get college kids prepared for that life transition come graduation.
Hugh says
Kyle that’s an interesting perspective on not doling out advice. Each person has to chose his/her own path. The value of people like you who write about personal experiences is inspiration. People like me see people like you who aren’t afraid to follow their dreams. And that gives me a little nudge to pursue my own dreams. Seeing and knowing that it can be done is half the battle. Keep it up man.
Kyle Crum says
I think that there is enough advice out there if someone wants to get it. Besides, I think that if someone doesn’t follow advice, they may come up with a better solution on their own, instead of following what worked for someone else.
Albert Ciuksza says
I totally agree.
I don’t think people realize how *not* risky making a move can be. There are many strategies to get there (yours was to save money and go for it, the previous commenter just decided to get out and I’m doing side projects to keep my skills sharp for when I’m ready to make the leap). I hear people tell me that they’d love to do the type of projects I do. I say that it’s easier than they think.
Technology really makes it easy. Being able to answer email or do work from my laptop during downtime makes it nearly painless to integrate into my daily routine. What really stops people?
Jay Horowitz - OurTakeOnFreedom says
I completely agree with you. I recently quit my secure and reasonably-well-paying corporate job, and a constant refrain I heard from my colleagues was “I wish I could do what you’re doing.” With few exceptions, most didn’t stop to think for a minute that there were few real differences between ourselves. We both were relatively privileged, working similar jobs, and living in similar areas. They could certainly do what we’re doing!
Kyle Crum says
Thanks for the kind words! Keep on truckin’ and living the life that others only dream of.