Being the best sounds great. It certainly is a cool place to reach, and that’s why it’s the goal for so many people. But the goal has been bastardized, we have bought that idea that being the best is reachable for everyone. Am I the only one that sees a flaw to this logic? Isn’t being alone on the top one of the conditions to be the best? We can’t be all up there…
It’s not that aiming for the pinnacle is wrong, on the contrary, is there a bigger motivator? But the fact that we all assume that we can accomplish it, the fact that we consider any other result as failure is what’s worrying about this modern goal.
Watch Out For Hollywood
The reason this idea sells is because it‘s much more interesting to talk about remarkable people than ordinary stories. Movies, books, biographies and motivational speakers, they are all telling us how cool it is to be the best, the rock star, the cowboy. Makes sense, a mediocre and regular story is not that thrilling, we can just look around our daily life to find that. Heroes, on the other hand, are much more interesting.
Not only you have to work really hard (which already eliminates a lot of people) but you also have to be extremely lucky. Being at the right place at the right time matters, maybe more than the work you put into it (Outliers, anyone?). You don’t have to be a genius at math to realize that the odds of you being the absolute best, whatever the field you are aiming for is, are not very exciting.
What Really Matters
Look, it’s great to want to be the best. But accept that you are human, and that s*** happens. It’s not being number one what matters. It’s feeling good about yourself, having what you need to live well, giving your best and ignoring society’s definition of success. Whether you reach the 2nd, 37th or 147th spot, your focus has to be intention, not result. Do that, and good enough results will come.
In the end, every time you tie your goals and expectations to a glamorized objective, you’re preparing yourself for some harsh truth. Be realistic and let yourself be surprised if you do get to the top. It’ll be much more satisfying.
Only so many times in life can you say “I’m the best in the world” at something… I was lucky enough to have this experience in college as President of the world’s #1 Collegiate Entrepreneurs’ Organization. It happened because we knew we could be the best in the world for the beginning and then laid out the plan to make it happen.
I like whoever said there is less competition at the top. Not many people have the courage to call the most important people in the world, or try to sit down at their table at a conference or go up and shake their hand. It all starts with believing that you belong there…it’s all about confidence… hmmm this could be a good blog post…
I agree with the intention, and the confidence, but reality does not guarantee results because of our mindset. What it can guarantee is peace of mind, which in my case, is all that matters.
Write that post!
Maybe it’s not aiming to be the best that’s so bad, but feeling disappointed when we don’t get there. If we understand that we’ll rarely reach what we aim for when we set standards that high, then maybe not reaching it is not really failure.
I think it was Gary Vee that said in one of his keynotes (and I’m paraphrasing here): “You don’t have to be the best. You can be the #10 blogger in your niche and still make a killer living.” But the fundamental question he still asks of us is “Do you think you CAN be the best?” Whether we actually get there or not…
you make a good point Wojo, and that’s why I think that philosophy is so important, because we need to understand the why’s, the real reason behind our goals. Otherwise, disappointment is on its way.
I wish more people could be the best they can be as opposed to being the best of everyone.
My dad always told me that “hard work creates luck”. So they are definitely inter-connected. Along with, like your previous post, magnetism, or what I like to call, faith. If you truly, authentically follow your passion, purpose, game plan… then you’ll develop the right mindset and perception to realize opportunities that may have been hidden before. Great post man. Looking forward to the next ones.
All true Ronnie, you got me to agree 100%.
You’re totally right Carlos! If you want to quote Malcolm Gladwell here, the best of the best had amazing circumstances to help them get there and over 10,000 hours of practice/work (ex: Bill Gates, The Beatles…) so although you can aim for the top, it’s a little unrealistic. I prefer to be a jack of all trades and be good in many different fields and not only one specific one. Good luck on the blog!!!
Malcolm is the best. After getting to know you I can safely say that you’re one heck of jack of all trades!
Hi Carlos (or may i say “cousin”?…;) ). Well, being the best or at the top of anything is REALY god. The way you reach it is what make you the best (or “the top”). Look, i’m almost an engineer and i consider myself a realistic person and because of that i know that being the best IS reachable, if anyone is the best in any given time they know that position no last forever and that give room for ordinary people to be the best. I hope you understand me, i think of my english is bad.Congratulations for doing this and see ya next time!
Mariano, nice to see you here!
It is true, no one is the best forever, and no one is the best at everything. But the word choice of “best” is the one that I don’t like, the one that lets only one person achieve that goal.
I prefer “good enough.” IF you ask most successful entrepreneurs, they don’t care about being the best. They know that good enough is all that matters.
It’s like being the ‘smartest’, and we learned in Outliers that being the smartest, or the tallest or whatever doesn’t matter…you only have to be smart or tall ‘enough’ to make things happen. A paradigm shift about what success means or what it takes to achieve success will allow so many more people to realize their dreams, and allow us all to drop the notion of having to be THE BEST.
The paradigm is shifting as we speak, but I would like to see it happening faster. I guess we can’t complain, really.
…And what are our different motives for wanting the be the best? What are the reasons for these goals?
To succeed? To be acknowledged? To let or legacy live on and be remembered long after we die? Or is it to stick it to all of ‘the haters and those that doubted me.’
There’s more than one way to these results
I think we should also get clear on that underlying motive, define it and strive for OUR best. Because, let’s be honest, whatever “their” definition of the best is, we may not even like it anyway. I don’t want America’s standard of beauty to become my wife. I want a much curvier woman, anyways.
I remember Will Smith saying something like, “there are too many people spending money they don’t have to buy stuff they don’t want to impress people they don’t like.” I think that rings true here
Your wisdom is inspiring every time Robert.
I would also like to say there is no “right” reason. Yeah, even revenge is a good reason in my book.
A major realization for me when traveling abroad has been how insignificant I truly am. I am fine with that, but realizing that I am not the center of the world meant accepting my happiness in the world rather than being compared to others on a scale.
Developing our own identity and molding our lives to what we feel success is is all that really matters.
David Damron
LifeExcursion
Stepping out of the comparing mindset is truly a remarkable achievement. Competition is one of society’s currencies in this world. I agree with you here, Dave.