In this group of experienced and amazingly talented people who are working hard while living a life they enjoy, I am only at the beginning of my untemplated journey.
The Plan
My life up until this year has been confined to the template of going to school, taking classes and getting involved in extra curricular activities, graduating from high school and going straight to a brand-name college. From there, I’m expected to graduate college and land a well-paying job for a year and possibly go to grad school. I could then embark on my dream career and reap all the benefits in retirement.
This plan would be all fine and dandy if it weren’t for one thing: I have no idea what my dream career is. I think back to when a college counselor visited one of my high school classes and described the difference between a job and a career. A career, he said, is the way you make a living. It should be something you are passionate about, something that you can stick with for a long time and bring you lots of money. A job on the other hand means being “just over broke.” Since then, I’ve been on a quest to avoid this dreadful idea of a soulless ‘job’ and find this magical ‘career.’ I seek this single thing that will define the course of my life and will bring me complete and utter happiness.
Through the years I have developed so many interests and small bits of experience here and there. This has made me jack of all trades, yet an ace of none. When someone asks me where I see myself in five, ten, twenty or how ever many years, my mind draws a blank. My inability to respond brings upon a tremendous amount of shame. Meanwhile, day to day I feel like I’m driving on a foggy road. I don’t know where I’m going; all I really know is that I have to keep moving. Lacking sight of a destination gives me no sense of direction.
Breaking Away
After a lot of thought, I realized that my perception and my expectations of life were all wrong. The dilemma here isn’t that I don’t know what my dream career is. I have put so much hope and value into having a great future that I’ve devalued the life I’m living in the present. The real dilemma is that I’ve been focused on finding a dream that is ‘out there’ instead of creating a dream ‘right here.’
This is where I have begun to break away from the plan. I decided that I will not live a life where my success is postponed. With an untemplater lifestyle, it is not just about living a great life later, it’s about living a great life now. It’s about making the most of what you’ve got when you’ve got it. It means when someone asks me what I’m going to do with my life in x amount of years, my “I don’t know” response will be optimistic and content instead of being worried, uneasy and ashamed.
However, a change of mindset is only the start of the my journey. My next step is bonafide practice and action. Acting against others’ expectations? Following your heart? This part is straight up terrifying. I’m shaking just thinking about it.
The Beginning
A few months ago, I was figuratively stopped on a foggy road called my life. Even though I didn’t know where to go, I knew I needed to move. Somewhere, somehow, I needed to do something, anything. In an attempt to ‘do something’ I began a job search. After a couple months facing the realities of the job market in the current economy (i.e., not getting a job nor an interview for that matter), a friend tipped me off to this random guy on Twitter who was looking for an intern for a social media something-or-other. I contacted him on Twitter telling him I was interested in the position. A few emails and my first Skype call later, I got an internship with Jun Loayza. I had no flippin’ idea that just a few short months later, I’d help launch this awesome site. Heck, at that time I had no flippin’ idea what “social media” even meant. Now here I sit just as scared as ever, still trying to learn as much as I can as fast as I can.
I’m yearning to practice a lifestyle that is true to who I am and what I value. I want to celebrate daily successes and grow in the ways that can only be experienced by breaking the template and challenging the status quo. Fear is the biggest obstacle keeping me from taking this risk of a new lifestyle. Honestly, fear has held me back from learning and growing even within my Untemplater internship. With each passing day however, I’m learning that one of the most important tools for being an untemplater is having the courage to take risks and accept the consequences.
As a student myself, I can relate to this so much! I’ll be starting an MBA in belgium next year but im starting to doubt now, is it worth it? am i going to learn enough for what this year is going to cost? do i actually need that degree?
i guess i need to think more about what i do want to do 🙂
Going to grad school is a great way to find oneself, but hopefully you can find yourself now or during your years of working after college. Unfortunately, grad school is a very expensive way to find yourself, unless you already know what you want to do. Gluck!
Dariane, the moment we had our first chat on Skype I knew that you had something special – a desire and drive to do something great, but lacked the specific guidance or life experience to know exactly what you want to do.
When I was an undergrad, I looked to people like Dave Liu (founder of http://thinkgos.com) and Yu-kai Chou for inspiration. They helped me become the entrepreneur that I am today and kicked my butt when I was going in the wrong direction.
I hope to provide you with the same guidance and mentorship so that you can do much better than I have done.
Hi Dariane,
I admire you for having taken the leap towards untemplating your life as it’s something I’ve dreamt of for many years but never really set out to change the status quo, and now at 25, I guess it’s not too late. I tried to follow the template in different areas of engineering but the lack of satisfaction forced me to quit. Then i decided on a masters in finance….thought that if i’m gonna follow the template then might as well go where the money is – but i didnt complete the masters and couldnt motivate myself to apply for finance jobs that I knew I didnt want. I’ve always felt lost, not knowing what i’m good at and what would be my dream career, but I’ve come to realise that not knowing can be a good thing. It just means that you get to try many diverse things and learn a lot in the process. Like you, i feel that i’m a jack of all trades but master of none. I agree that acting against what is expected of you is troubling, especially what family expects of you. That’s something I’ll have to overcome as well as self-deprecating thoughts/behaviour. Social media is something that i’ve only recently embraced and thankfully it’s allowed to find like minded people. Feels good to know there are others out there going through the same thing.
Well said. I’m approaching 30 and I still feel the same way. But I, too, have made the same decision. Perhaps we’re on the right path when we’re not on one at all.
I am not really at gen Y (just hit 31 so right on the border) however I got really lucky when I was in school. I was in my 3rd year of engineering and wanted to go on a study abroad trip to France. I managed to get a professer at my Uni to give me a job for two months and that that two month study term has lead me to where I am today.
Sometimes the smallest decisions can make a huge impact. I decided to do grad school because there weren’t many jobs at home and by the time I was in my second year of my master’s degree I had a job offer and have been with the company since I left school. I have been overseas about numerous times (which is a big goal of mine) and all work funded.
The one warning I will say is that…I struggle on a fine line between wanting to do more for my employer than they deserve and wanting them to give me more than I have earned. If you look at your life as a business you wouldn’t give someone with no experience a 100K job and 10 weeks of leave a year.
That being said I would never work for a company that expeceted me to have no life and didn’t value the skills I bring.
I will say though that when and opportunity came my way – I said yes….Do you want to go to Brisbane, Aus for three months (need to leave in about a week) – yes….Do you want to move to Australia for a year or so – YES – can you leave for the middle of nowhere tonight? Maybe not a hell yes but a yes as I have taken a lot more lucrative opportunities.
Don/t sacrifice your life for work but don’t expect work to be there and wonderful if you’re not willing to give anything of yourself.
Just something to consider.
For me, fear was the first obstacle. I was like you, at a great college- cal poly pomona- majoring in Economics and doing my acting and kung-fu on the side. After things got overwhelming I said, “fuck it! If people are out there living their dreams then this world is going to let me live mine!” That was my exact attitude, and I dropped out of the university, I didn’t graduate or finish.
Do I regret it? Nope. I don’t care about money enough. I didn’t retain much and I read and learn more outside of school than I did in school.
Yes, I’m struggling. Right now, I’m juggling jobs while I plan to build a passive income stream this year as well. But when the times get hard, call me crazy but I laugh, because I’m responsible for all this.
Self-doubt is like the 2nd obstacle. Because striving to earn a living through your passion isn’t easy, especially when you’re not a college grad, you have your expenses and the people around you think you’re nuts. That’s why I come to these websites and blogs to talk to and meet more crazy people and to feel not so crazy anymore.
As far as self-doubt goes, it’s great to ‘burn the ships’ so that you can never return because when the going gets tough, you may want to.
Congratulations on your deciding to pursue the untemplate life. I like what you guys are doing here.
Robert,
Your experience resonates so much with mine. First of all, acting! Some of the most thrilling moments in my life have been while performing. Pursuing acting is one of the reasons I decided to go to school in Los Angeles. Why I haven’t aggressively pursued it is a whole other story though…
Secondly, dropping out of school to pursue your dream? I’ve considered dropping many times because of how overwhelming it can be and how little benefit I feel I’m getting from all the sacrifice. Yeah, I definitely learn more during summer vacation than I do during the school year. I’m still debating the value of my education; I may do a post about that later.
Third, self-doubt is my best friend, and sometimes self-deprecation tags along too. Even writing this very article was so incredibly difficult for me because of self-doubt!
Thank you so much for sharing about yourself; it’s very comforting to know that we’re not alone.
Things always seem to work out in the end. Finding a career is a chaotic thing in this day and age. You just gotta roll with it and you did exactly that. Look forward to your growth here on Untemplater and in other places in the social media world! Best of Luck!
Thanks Tanner.
There will most definitely be a lot of growth on my end, although not physically. I do wish I could be taller… Anywho,I hope you enjoy the website!
Loved your post, my favorite on this site so far. Seem to touch close to home with a million (if not more) college students in your same situation. I know I am one of them. 6 months from now I’ll be graduating with an MBA and have no idea what my skills are or what i want to do.
Like you i have dabbled in areas of interest bet never have gotten the balls to do anything. I’m looking forward to more articles from you, a push in a direction.
David
Thanks so much David.
I was a second year in undergrad when I realized that most of my senior friends about to graduate had no idea what they were going to do, some of them were applying to grad school for no other reason than feeling like it is the next logical step. I was so afraid that I would end up like them by the time my graduation rolled around that I started doing everything I could to decide what I wanted to do. Three years later, still no idea.
I would definitely like to hear more from you about your own experiences. What are some ways you’ve tried to ‘figure your life out’?
Hi Dariane!
Good for you to have taken this leap of faith! I’m sure you’ll be just fine!
By the way, you could call your new “career”: living a meaningful life, just a thought ;).
Good luck!
Thanks Alexandre.
Haha, I wonder how my parents would respond to this notion of “career.”
“Oh that’s great…. But what are you REALLY going to do?”
Ahh the joys of being different. :]