The following is a guest post written by a sporting event volunteer who recounts a bizarre and unfortunate encounter. It is disheartening when people overreact or act in discriminatory ways toward others. Everyone deserves respect, kindness, and compassion. Those who feel entitled, look down on others, or feel threatened by innocuous situations are often the ones most in need of humility and self-reflection.
On October 1, 2024, I had an unfortunate encounter with Natalie Kim, a sports and fitness photographer from the Bay Area. I was volunteering as a ball boy at a tennis event on center court, stationed in a corner near the sponsor boxes.
Because it was a Tuesday morning, most of the boxes were empty, as people were at work. This was my second day volunteering, and it was a record-hot day, with temperatures reaching the mid-90s. Standing in direct sunlight on the court, the temperature likely felt closer to 108 degrees.
When my shift began, one of the volunteer coordinators informed me that no cell phones, bags, or water bottles were allowed on the court, and that nothing should be kept in our pockets. I therefore placed my bag in the front row of the nearest box, right by the corner, just as I had done the day before. There was no one sitting in the front row, and only two people in the entire 12-seat box, both seated in the second row.
A Desire To Keep My Valuables Close
Inside my bag were my wallet, keys, cell phone, water, and medication (an inhaler) – all important items I wanted to keep nearby, especially since it was so hot. If I were to feel faint in the heat, I’d need my water and my inhaler nearby.
My chest starts feeling heavy when it gets over 80 degrees given I’ve had lifelong asthma. I’ve been hospitalized twice as a kid and recently went to see a pulmonologist several times for prolonged shortness of breath during COVID. Depending on how much I’d have to run on the court to get balls, I may have needed my Albuterol.
The event I was volunteering at was the Tiburon Challenger Tennis Open. Being a ball boy at this tournament is a serious role, given the players are professionals. Those on the courts in addition to the players include an umpire, multiple line judges, and experienced ball boys and girls. But I didn’t mind volunteering because it was fun, gave my friend and I some exercise, and it felt good to help out.
The Photographer Natalie Kim Incident
Halfway through a 90-second changeover, a woman named Natalie Kim picked up my bag while I was volunteering on the court. This was strange, as my bag had been tucked into a corner, hidden between two wraps around the sponsor box.
I told her it was mine and asked her not to move it, but she picked it up anyway. She mumbled something—perhaps that it wasn’t allowed—and carried my bag all the way to the back near the main walkway, where I could barely see it. There, it was exposed to dozens of people walking by, increasing the risk that it could be taken. I was shocked and had to quickly return my focus to the match.
The box was practically empty given it was a late Tuesday morning, and during the week, people were sitting in various boxes without issue. My small bag was tucked away in the corner and impeded no one. How did she even know it was there? Had she been watching me?
My bag with my water, inhaler, and valuables, once within arm’s reach and hidden from the public, was now fully exposed where anyone could have easily taken it while I was on the court. I was frustrated that she had the audacity to move a stranger’s bag, especially since it wasn’t bothering anybody. It felt like I was being unfairly targeted.
Natalie left minutes later, leaving the box with only two spectators again. During another changer over I looked toward my bag to check if it was still there, and the two patrons in the box showed some empathy. They were bewildered by what Natalie had done as well and offered to look out for my bag or bring it forward. Before I could respond, the match began again.
After the match, I asked one of the volunteer coordinators who the woman was who moved my bag, wondering if she owned the tournament or was part of management or something. The coordinator told me she was just the tournament photographer.
Natalie Kim Treated Me Like A Servant Or Like “The Help”
When I shared the incident with my friends, they were equally perplexed that someone would move a volunteer’s bag like that when it wasn’t causing any disruption. Yes, we are volunteers and not members of that club. But treating people poorly and doing what you want with their belongings, acting like we were servants, is wrong.
Later, when my shift was over and I was watching the next match, Natalie Kim walked by and sat in front of me. She didn’t offer any explanation or apology for what she did, so I looked her up after seeing her name on her badge. I found her Instagram page that evening and commented on one of her pictures, saying, “Nice pic, don’t touch my bag.” Then I was going to talk to her when I went back to volunteer with my friend.
Natalie Kim Complains
The next day, I was putting on sunscreen at the volunteer check-in when Jane Colwell, the lead volunteer coordinator, confronted me. She asked what I had done in stern voice. I explained that Natalie Kim had moved my bag with my water, phone, ID, keys, and medication. And I had commented on one of her Instagram posts, writing, “Nice pic, don’t touch my bag.” Jane admonished me, saying I shouldn’t be commenting on people’s social media and that Natalie Kim felt “unsafe.”
I was surprised. First of all, if you put yourself out there on social media, you open yourself to public comments and feedback. Second, I didn’t threaten Natalie Kim; I complimented her picture and told her not to touch my belongings.
I had intended to tell her in person, but that didn’t happen because I wasn’t given a chance. That was the moment when I realized the ganging up had begun.
Dan Oppenheim, “The Little King Of The Club”
While my friend and I were watching a match center court on the open seating benches, I was approached by a couple members, and an armed guard. I assume this was to demonstrate force and intimidation, as if I was a criminal.
One of the members name was Dan Oppenheim, a socially awkward guy who used to work as a housing analyst for Credit Suisse until the firm blew up 2023. They informed me that I had to leave the club and that my services were no longer needed. Fair enough, but I was shocked. I left without an argument or scuffle.
Before I left, though, I tried to share my side of the story. But they didn’t care and Dan said, “This is a private club and we can do what we want.” I was like a Michigan fan at the Ohio State football stadium with no chance in hell they would see and support my side of the situation.
What’s funny is that I then saw Dan Oppenheim at my club at a different tournament the next year. He came alone and I let him be.
Coincidentally, before Dan came, I spoke to another spectator at my club who said that Dan Oppenheim treated him poorly too at Tiburon last year. He said Dan acted like “The little king of the castle, puffing out his chest,” and told him he couldn’t talk to the players, even though Dan was just a regular member.
The spectator was also an Asian American. We already knew from encountering Dan and speaking to other members that he was a socially awkward guy. But now we couldn’t help but wonder whether he was racist too for purposefully discriminating against us. Because what are the chances he singles out two of the only few Asian Americans at Tiburon?
But if you’re white, went to a private university, once held a high-paying job, live in racially homogenous Tiburon, and see an Asian American person having a good time or standing up for themselves, you might feel threatened. So we empathized with his situation and just let it be.
Edit: Dan reached out over e-mail and apologized in January 2025. He finally realized we used to work together and play tennis together. I just wish he would have recognized me, as I recognized him when he approached me, and tried to smooth things over. Getting an armed security guard and another member as a show of force to intimidate me to leave like a criminal was bad form.
Beware Of How Natalie Kim Will Treat You Too
I’m not sure if it’s due to the sheltered environment of a private club that this happened. Or if it’s because my friends and I are minorities who stood out in a predominantly white environment, but Natalie Kim’s treatment of me was disappointing. Moving my bag out of my reach to a place where it could get easily stolen next to the walkway was one thing. But to then say whatever she said to the tournament people to have me kicked out is astounding.
She had no right to touch my belongings, especially while I was on the court volunteering the second day with no issues. The coordinator later mentioned that it was her box, or at least shared by others. But does that give her the right to move my stuff that was bothering nobody while I was in the middle of a volunteering match? I don’t think so. She could be Lauren Jobs, a multi-billionaire, for all I care. You don’t touch people’s personal belongings and put them out of reach and out of sight, especially if there is medication, wallet, phone, and keys. I’m a volunteer trying to help out the tournament for goodness sake.
For all I know, she could have taken my things or given them to someone else, leaving me stranded without my wallet, phone, keys, or medication. Again, we didn’t know each other. How would you feel if some stranger took your valuable belongings and medication while you were stuck on court?
Perhaps Natalie felt that because we were at her private club, that nobody would ever take anything that doesn’t belong to them. Meanwhile, given I live in San Francisco and am not a member, I am much more wary of my belongings being left out for the public to take. In a split second, someone could have easily took my bag and walked out of the club while I was focusing on grabbing balls at the match. I don’t leave any valuables in my car in San Francisco do to the prevalence of car break ins.
False Accusations
In order for the club to ask me to leave, I assume she exaggerated the situation and claimed I had threatened her or something, which is untrue. I’m sure Instagram can just pull up my comment, which she deleted, to share what I said. I know what I wrote, and there was no threat. I simply stood up for myself and told her not to touch my bag after I complemented the picture she posted.
This whole incident reminds me of the Amy Cooper and Christian Cooper situation in Central Park in May 2020. Amy Cooper falsely accused Christian Cooper, a Black birdwatcher, of threatening her life when he did nothing of the sort.
In this situation, if you try to protect your belongings, which you have a right to, and then comment on a public social media post not to touch your bag, she might call security. Only if you have video evidence can you successfully defend yourself because the club immediately went on her side as member and donor. I understand, but it’s not fair.
Would Natalie Kim have asked security to remove me if I was a white woman and member of Tiburon Peninsula Club? I doubt it. But to her, I was seen as a scary outsider given I was a male and a minority.
I’m sharing my side of the story because I doubt Natalie Kim is providing an accurate account of what happened. Before you judge anything, please know there are always two sides to a story. And now I’ve shared mine.
Be Careful Confronting People After You’ve Been Wronged
It’s a shame this happened because I love the Tiburon Challenger tennis tournament, and now this experience has tarnished it for me. I’ve been going for over a decade. Yes, I could have kept quiet and let someone treat me poorly. But it’s not in my nature to do nothing when wronged. Ever since I was a kid, I’ve stood up to bullies.
If you ever find yourself being mistreated, especially in private clubs or institutions, know that speaking up may have consequences – such as getting blackballed. You’ll have to decide whether to endure the mistreatment or stand up for yourself. In the end, you have to weigh your options and live with the consequences of your actions.
Unfortunately, bad people and bad things will never change until you take a stance. Some of the children of some of these rich people who treat others poorly may also grow up the same way, treating outsiders poorly. And if you have children raised without such privilege or entitlement, they will eventually cross paths with these types of children growing up or as adults.
There will always be people like Natalie Kim who lack kindness and treat volunteers and non-members poorly. It’s up to you to stand up for yourself or just let it go. No wonder why there’s so much self-segregation and homogeneity in neighborhoods and groups.
Learn To Treat People With Respect
The true measure of a person is how they treat others when there’s no personal gain involved. By this standard, Natalie Kim falls short. Wealth, status, or club membership shouldn’t dictate how you treat others. Respect should be universal, regardless of the circumstances.
Wearing a big engagement ring to signal your wealth or being a member of an exclusive club doesn’t entitle you to mistreat volunteers. Instead, you should go out of your way to treat them better. Otherwise, both you and the club risk developing a reputation for being unwelcoming.
If Natalie wants to apologize for moving my belongings and exaggerating the situation to get me kicked out, I’ll accept it. Life is too short to hold grudges and be mean to others. I’ll take this article down and make peace if so and chalk it up to a big misunderstanding. But if not, so be it. There are plenty of other more inclusive environments that are welcoming to everyone.
That’s my side of the story. Now it’s time to move on.
– A Volunteer Ball Boy
Some Suggestions For Volunteers And Volunteer Coordinators
If you have asthma or any other medical condition, be sure to inform the volunteer coordinator before stepping on the court or starting any activities. This way, they may be more accommodating and show some compassion, such as allowing you to keep a bag with medication nearby. For instance, one volunteer mentioned he had undergone knee surgery and wasn’t comfortable working the net, so they put him in the corner.
The volunteer ball boys and girls at the Tiburon Challenger are great. I’m impressed by their enthusiasm, fitness, and teamwork.
However, I do suggest Jane Caldwell and the volunteer coordinators improve communication consistency. For example, one coordinator told me I could place my water bottle and bag in a designated box on the side of the court. But at the end of the event, Jane informed me that was incorrect, and my bag needed to be placed all the way in the back of the club under a tent. So in the end, I get the blame and this unfortunate incident occurred.
Additionally, we were frequently told by different coordinators to switch courts, even when we’d already been assigned one by another volunteer coordinator. On one occasion, a coordinator told us to take a lunch break and rest. But just two minutes after we started eating, another coordinator asked us to go to a different court.
I understand they’re doing their best to ensure every court has enough ball boys and girls. We’re all just volunteers looking to pitch in and make the tournament great. Still, better communication would make things smoother for everyone, and potentially have prevented this mishap.
Social Media Suggestion
If you don’t want people to publicly comment on or read your social media content, don’t make it public. If a comment like “Nice pic, don’t touch my bag” offends you, it’s probably best to set your page to private or avoid social media altogether. The public sphere isn’t for you if you’re accustomed to the shelter of a private community.
You can’t logically seek views, clicks, and business opportunities on social media while getting overly upset by a single innocuous comment. If you’re that sensitive, social media could seriously harm your mental health.
Everybody Googles who people are and what they do. To then act shocked or say it’s inappropriate to comment on a public social media page is delusional. This is the modern day internet that’s been around since the 1990s.