There was a time when I got things all wrong.  I was afraid to speak.  I was afraid to fight back.  I was afraid to dream.  The fear that held me back was the fear of having everything to lose.  What if my parents disapproved?  What if I fought back and my opponent kicked my ass?  What if I pursued my dream only to realize I wasted my time?  I thought about all these things a lot growing up in foreign countries with unknown students.

It was recess in the 4th grade, and I had been picked by one team to play right forward due to my quick feet.  As I was about to strike the futbol into the goal, a boy from the Netherlands decided to sweep my legs and slide tackle me from behind.  I screamed in agony as my back bent backwards and my arms went flailing.  As I lay on the ground, my attacker cast a shadow over me and said, “Better luck next time Sam” with a smirk.  As a bigger boy, he was constantly tripping and hitting others on the field, and nobody stood up to him.

Something in me began to boil after he mocked me while I was still in pain.  As he was walking away, laughing and giving high-fives to his teammates, I rushed him like a raging bull, grabbed the collar of his back shirt and threw him to the ground.  He lay on his back, continuing to smirk and giggle.  It was then that I decided to stomp his solar plexus with my heel and let out a yell, “Laugh at this you cheater!”

My nemesis couldn’t breathe for about 30 seconds as he lay squirming.  Everybody rushed to see what was going on, but nobody dared do anything.  A teacher soon came to join the fray, and grabbed both of us to detention.

Our punishment was to face the wall for 30 minutes and not say a word.  After 15 minutes, my enemy did say three words.  ”I am sorry.”  From that day forward, we became friends, and nobody wanted to mess with me again.

THE PEOPLE YOU SHOULD BE MOST AFRAID OF

Ever since the 4th grade incident, I’ve decided to never back down if my honor is being insulted or if I or my friends are being physically attacked.  At the same time, I promised to do my best never to be a prick and bully others.  There were several more fighting instances that transpired in high school and college, but interestingly, we always made up and ended up respecting each other.

They say nature vs. nurture.  In this incidence, nurture definitely played a role in who I am today.  It’s the self-confidence to stand up for what I believe in, and to care less about the repercussions, in this case a bloody nose, that has given me the courage to just continue going, no matter what.

The people you should be most afraid of are the people who have nothing to lose.  They’ve already hit rock bottom and no matter what happens to them, things can’t get possibly worse.  These are the people you don’t want to mess with.

Work: Someone hates his job and wants to quit anyway.  He’s not going to get a severance and is ready to take down and call out every single person who he feels has wronged him.  Stay out of his way because he will send out that “F U” blast e-mail to the world and name names if you cross him!

Sports: Your opponent isn’t going to the post season, so they are going to swing with abandon.  They are often times your most worthy adversary.  How many times have you see those who play for their honor crush the favorites?

Love: Hell has no fury like a woman scorned.  If she’s going to lose you, she’s going to make you pay.  Know your woman well, because if you betray her, watch out!  In this day of social media, your reputation will get dragged through the mud in a nanosecond.

Online: If you are depending solely on your online income to survive, then you have a tremendous amount to lose. You are a slave to Google and depend on the community in which you surround yourself with.  If you make enemies online, you are literally cutting off each metatarsal, one by one until you have nothing left!

THE PEOPLE WHO SHOULD BE MOST AFRAID

Financial advisers tell young folks to invest aggressively, early, and often.  They don’t have much and if they lose 50% of their  wealth in a market meltdown, it’s OK, since they have a lifetime to make that money back.  On the flip side, financial advisers tell older individuals to be more conservative with their money, especially if they are nearing retirement or in retirement because they don’t have that time optionality.

The people who should be most afraid are those that have the most to lose.  It’s why you see a a bewilderment of studies where even though an individual may have $25 million+ in assets, they still do not feel secure and need an extra 25% more!  The more you have, the more you are afraid of losing it all!  You end up buying insurance for this and that, just to give you peace of mind that your fortune will always be around.

The people who should be most afraid are those who continue to hang on to things which are impermanent.  Let things go.  It is already in the past, so it does not exist.

WHAT IS ONE SUPPOSED TO DO?

Part of the reason why I’ve been able to grow Financial Samurai is because I have never depended on the site for money.  The money is either given away to charity, sent to someone I care about, or never touched.  The writing on my site is predominantly just me and friends of the Financial Samurai community.  It’s a place where we can pontificate and discuss matters of the mind.

I’ve probably denied a hundred sponsored posts over the past several years because the writing just sucks, and I have no patience for spending an hour re-writing and editing their post for money.  Ironically, because I just write about whatever I want, advertisers consistently come out of the woodwork, and readership continues to grow.

If Financial Samurai got black-balled by Google one day, I would be very disappointed.  But, the disappointment is not so much from the money, but from the fact that less people can find my articles, learn, comment and interact on things which I think are helpful, fun, and interesting.  I write online because I love to write and connect with other people!  Money is a distant second.

Even when it comes to money, what excites me more is not the $1,000 that hits the Paypal account from an advertisement deal, but the pursuit of the negotiation.  It gives me way more satisfaction to negotiate a deal for myself and for the Yakezie Network than to see more numbers in my account.  The love for money is evil.  I truly believe this.  It’s OK to let money come after doing what you enjoy.  Just don’t focus on it!

THE WORST THAT CAN HAPPEN IS A WALK IN THE PARK

There are those who become “yesmen” and “yeswomen” at work, never able to speak their mind for fear of being brushed aside and ridiculed.  They depend on their job so much to survive that they never take risks in their career.  I get that one needs to really listen intently for the first 5 years of work.  But afterward?  Please grow some courage to stand up to workplace bullies and object to things that are wrong.

It’s tantamount that everybody continues to save aggressively, so that one day, we can all develop the optionality to work only because we want to.  When you can do things not for the money, I swear to you that the window you look out of gets clearer.  When I went to business school part-time, it was an absolute joy learning because there was no grade disclosure!  I never knew learning could be so much fun.  It’s the same thing with work, when you no longer need to depend on your day job to survive.

If everything goes to hell, I’ll just pack my bags, sell most of my belongings and move to a paid-off house in Hawaii where the sun always shines and the walks in the park are free.  I’ll continue to write online, again for the love of writing and connecting with people.  The savings and passive income from savings and rental properties will continue to come in, and nobody can ever take that away from me.

If this is the worst that can happen, then I’m really not afraid of much.  And since I’m not afraid of much, I’ve got nothing to lose.   And since I’ve got nothing to lose, do you really want to mess with me?  I will stomp your solar plexus if you go too far!  Besides, I’m having way too much fun to let things bother me much anymore.

Once you let go of your desire for money, material possessions, status, and other beings, you start setting yourself free.  I’m not there yet, however, I am trying.

Readers, who are the people you should be most afraid of?  And who are the people who should be most afraid?

Regards,

Sam

You Don’t Have to be Famous to be a Rockstar…  When I biked my way to the beach earlier this month, I had to peddle as hard as I could into the wind. It wasn’t easy overcoming the obstacles in my path, but once I set my focus on my destination, everything fell into place.  I’m so glad I made it to the beach that day because what I witnessed there inspired me to write this post.

As I was relaxing in the sun, exhausted but thrilled at having arrived, a thin, shirtless man in skinny jeans and sunglasses walked onto the beach with his children.  It was a gorgeous day and the beach was starting to fill up with people. He set down their things not too far from me and I didn’t think anything of it until a few minutes later he pulled out a shiny guitar, plugged it into his amp, and began to play the most incredible rock and roll I ever heard!  Riff after riff, this guy was on fire!

At this point I couldn’t help staring at him behind my sunglasses as I tried to figure out who this guy was. His fingers flew over the strings and made it look effortless.  He played from the heart and his music told a story: that no matter what was going on in the world, everything was gonna be all right.

Do What You Love, And You Will Shine Brighter Than The Sun

This guitarist had the look of a true rockstar and certainly had the talent of one, so I naturally assumed he was somebody famous. He was so good that I actually felt foolish for not knowing who he was. So you can imagine my surprise when I overheard a passerby strike up a conversation with him and find out that he was just an ordinary local guy who loves to play the guitar and share his music with people.  I was blown away that a guy with that much talent wasn’t a famous musician, but then I quickly realized he didn’t need to be.

You don’t have to be famous to be a rockstar, do the things you love, and make a difference in this world. Forget about getting on the cover of People magazine or in today’s headlines.  Focus on following your passions in life, planning for your future, and helping other people.  The guitarist on the beach beamed with happiness because he was enjoying something he loved to do and was sharing his music with us.  It didn’t matter that he wasn’t a lead guitarist in a famous band, or that he wasn’t raking in millions from concerts.  He was simply jamming on the beach having a great time and enjoying the moment.

Forget About Glitz, Glamour, And Mega Riches

We live in a world where we grow up believing that glitz, glamour, and fancy cars are symbols of having “made it.” Celebrities are idolized with there fancy cribs, au couture, and personal assistants waiting on their hand and foot. I’m sure a lot of you probably grew up fantasizing about becoming a rich movie star, being on ESPN, or signing a major record deal and going on tour.

I wanted more than anything to be a famous singer and actress when I was a teenager, but thank goodness I didn’t get anywhere close to that happening. I’m sure it would have been exhilaratingly fun in the beginning, but I think I would have ended up hating my life! Our society is so obsessed with celeb gossip and waiting for famous people to crumble and fall that it’s no wonder so many of them assault paparazzi, can’t stay in a long-term relationship, and go completely off their rocker.

Work where you want…Live how you want…Be who you want to be

On the other hand, those of us who live an untemplate lifestyle know what it’s like to work hard to live the life we want, and we’re pretty well grounded because of it. We’re focused on our own end game – not what everybody else thinks we should be doing, we make our own goals and stick to them, and we set high expectations of ourselves.

Most of us can name a CEO, self made millionaire, or successful business owner that we admire and look up to, but we also appreciate and recognize how hard they had to work to get to where they are today. A lot of ordinary people don’t realize this though, young folks especially, and that worries me.

Don’t Let The Media Cloud Your Definition of Success and Entitlement

I was talking to some parents at a dinner party recently and they were telling me how worried they are about the future of their teenage boys. One mom said her son just doesn’t apply himself and is always looking for shortcuts and cheats to avoid doing any work. She anxiously told me he has no interest in school or getting a job.

The curious thing she told me is she thinks that all the media hype about young billionaires like Zuckerberg are blinding her son’s perceptions of the real world. She feels as if her son has been brainwashed into believing that it’s a piece of cake to start your own company right out of school, that it’s okay to have a big ego and scoff at people with 10-20-30 years of work experience, and that he actually has a shot at becoming mega rich in his 20’s without breaking a sweat.

Set Realistic Targets and Write Your Own Definition of Having “Made It”

I certainly don’t envy that mom! I hope she knocks some sense into her son soon and gets him to take a part time job or something so he’ll get a reality wake up call and realize that it takes a lot of effort to make money in this world, and that his future isn’t going to be handed to him on a silver platter. I’ve seen more and more traces of this sense of entitlement in recent college grads too and it’s frustrating that so many young people think they should be paid big salaries with miniscule experience and minimal effort.

No matter how old or young you are, don’t get caught up in the hype that success only happens if you become famous and super rich. Success is whatever you make it out to be, and the more achievable you make your goals, the more happiness you’ll unfurl.  You don’t have to be famous to be a rockstar!  Fame and mega riches sure can seem appealing, and who doesn’t dream of being waited on hand and foot, but please slap yourself straight – they’re both overrated and will not guarantee happiness!  Put your happiness into your own hands!!

Untemplaters, do you have aspirations of becoming famous? Why do you think our society is so obsessed with celebrities? Do you agree that you don’t have to be famous to be a rockstar?  What is your definition of success and what level of fame, if any, would you want it to bring?

Have you ever had an upset stomach before an important meeting, frequent headaches at work, or back pain so bad you can’t concentrate on anything else besides how much it hurts?  I’ve suffered from ALL of these and MORE for years, with back pain and neck tension being the most intense and discomforting for me in the last 8 months.

Recently I learned the most simple, and pure genius method of how to cure back pain in addition to many other health issues.  I’m determined to spread the word about the M.D. who explained it all to me because my results have been fantastic and I want help you benefit too!

Untemplate Your Views On Pain And Its Causes

The doctor who opened my eyes to a whole new way of looking at medicine, pain, and health is Dr. John E. Sarno.  Maybe a few of you have heard of him but I’m guessing the majority of you have not.  He is almost 90 years old, a Professor of Rehabilitation Medicine at NYU’s School of Medicine, has his own private practice in NYC, and looks like an adorable, happy version of the grandpa in the movie Up.

And you know what’s neat?  I’ve never even met this doc in person!  So how could I learn how to cure back pain and my other health issues without ever having actually been treated by Dr. Sarno in person?  His books!  My favorites are Healing Back Pain: The Mind-Body Connection, and The Divided Mind: The Epidemic of Mindbody Disorders.

And I’m not joking around here.  I know some of you are probably skeptical, thinking I’m full of bologna for suggesting books could actually give you the knowledge to cure your own physical pain and ailments, but please hear me out!

Look Past The Lab And Into Your Life

I’ve seen all sorts of normal, everyday doctors my whole life.  They told me exactly what I was suffering from, what caused it, some medicine to treat it, and that was that.  There’s not much to question when you get the flu from a virus going around, sprain your ankle from tripping over an uneven surface, have sore muscles from carrying 30 pound boxes all day, or get covered in a rash after walking through a patch of poison ivy.

But what if there is no obvious, identifiable cause to what’s ailing you, especially if it’s pain or muscle related?  I had sudden onset back and neck pain, fibromyalgia, IBS, vertigo, and frequent headaches at various times over the last 3-5 years and my visits to the doctor only resulted in a ton of prescriptions (which didn’t help), more questions than answers, and typical suggestions for me to get more sleep and exercise.  These doctors only used lab results and x-rays to explain what was going on with me.  I was in my 20’s when these things started popping up, and it was concerning.

Your Brain Is Extremely Clever And Wants You To Feel Pain

When one of my ailments mysteriously started to go away, another one cropped up in its place, but my back pain was the most severe.  I was so convinced that there was something wrong with my body that I never even considered there was something wrong with my mind.  I wasn’t imagining my symptoms, but I failed to realize that I was going through a lot emotionally at each of those times.  Little did I know those troubles were affecting me physically.

Dr. Sarno explains the mind body connection in his books way better than I can, so I’m not going to get into much detail here, but the fundamental concepts of his books are that our emotions can and do cause physical pain and ailments.  Our minds are so clever that they distract us from coping with our emotions by triggering pain and other health problems.  The video at the bottom is also quite helpful in understanding all of this.

Pain Is Socially Accepted As Normal

Life can be really challenging at times, and if we don’t work through what’s bothering us emotionally, especially if we have repressed anger and a lot of stress, our brain will make us suffer more and more by triggering Tension Myositis Syndrome (TMS) and other problems.  TMS is most commonly experienced as lower back pain, but can be felt anywhere in the back, neck, or shoulders.  I had it primarily in my upper back and neck.

Back pain, ulcers, tendonitis, carpel tunnel, and even fibromyalgia are chronic problems in our country and it annoys me they are socially accepted as normal and commonly occurring conditions, unlike their underlying emotional causes.  For example, if you take a day off of work because you have a physical ailment, that’s not going to raise any eyebrows.  But if you take a day off to deal with stress and emotional issues, people view that differently and some may even accuse you of slacking off and being weak.

Identify Everything That Is Weighing You Down Emotionally

If you’re experiencing chronic back pain, or some of the other health issues I’ve mentioned, please read Dr. Sarno’s books, especially Healing Back Pain.  As soon as I accepted his concepts, read people’s testimonials, and admitted that both of my intense episodes with back pain last year happened at times when I was at heightened stress levels, my pain started to melt away.  I still have aches in my back here and there, but I’m able to shut off the pain within a few minutes when I feel it creeping back because each time it has tried to return I knew I was struggling with stress and other anxieties.

Simply acknowledging my emotions and letting them go has been my cure, a completely free and natural “medicine” that I have full control of.  My other bouts with vertigo, IBS, fibromyalgia, and frequent headaches are also completely gone since reading Dr. Sarno’s books!  I’ve also been actively helping my mother decrease her pain with this same method as she has a laundry list of physical issues and unsurprisingly a mountain of anxiety and emotional traumas to work through.

I’m A Believer And Hope You Will Be Too

It is not very often that I can say a book changed my life, but Healing Back Pain really did and I wish I had read it a lot sooner.  A big shout out to Sam from Financial Samurai who first suggested the book to me when he heard I was struggling with a recurrence of back pain this past December.

In fact, if it weren’t for Sam’s insistence that I read Healing Back Pain, I probably wouldn’t have checked it out or fully understood his personal experience being fully cured of chronic lower back pain and tendonitis.  I’m a believer now because my own pain is cured too!

Understand that your pain may not be cured in a day and it may take weeks or even months if you have deep emotional issues to work through, and not every type of pain or illness can be cured with this method.   I’m not a doctor either, and take no responsibility for your actions or results, so please consult a medical professional if you have ailments.  If you do take the time to read Dr. Sarno’s books and follow his guidance though, I think you will be thrilled and quite relieved with the results!

His books are all available for purchase on Amazon: Healing Back Pain, and The Divided Mind.

Untemplaters, have you ever suffered from severe back pain?  What do you think of Dr. Sarno’s research and the mind body connection?  Is your brain currently giving you aches and pains so it can distract you from dealing with stress and other emotions?

Inspirational quotes can be the best little boosts when you’re running out of steam, feeling like you’ve hit a wall, or battling boredom. As much as we’d like to accumulate a laundry list of achievements with ease, it takes a lot of failing and stumbling before we can be victorious. It can be all too easy to get sucked up into our own gloom and doom and we’ve all been there.

So to me, one of the keys to success is being able to refuel your mind when it’s hit empty and having the courage and determination to break through all kinds of obstacles when they get in your way.

Here are five inspirational quotes to start your week off right plus a few tidbits about the known authors. Get ready to lift your spirits and get back onto your exciting path to success and happiness!

“Nobody trips over mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble. Pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find you have crossed the mountain.” Author unknown

There are always going to be little things that get in the way and try to distract us from our end game.  If you can learn to focus on the big picture, it will get easier to keep moving forward and brush all those little pebbles aside.

“Cowardice is a serious vice. Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than one’s fear. The timid presume it is lack of fear that allows the brave to act when the timid do not. But to take action when one is not afraid is easy. To refrain when afraid is also easy. To take action regardless of fear is brave.” Ambrose Redmoon (James Neil Hollingworth)

This quote was written by Hollingworth under his pen name Ambrose Redmoon. He was a man of many paths who lived in NY, Chicago, and San Francisco. Redmoon was as a serious writer, father, and even a band manager to the group Quicksilver Messenger Service. An unfortunate car accident left him in a wheelchair for the last thirty years of his life but that didn’t stop him from expressing himself through his writing and fighting for what he believed in.

I like this passage because it’s all too true that fear can be a paralyzing roadblock that turns many people away before they even give themselves a fair shot. Once we can acknowledge and push our fears aside, we are set free.

“Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.  Don’t go through life, grow through life.” Eric Butterworth

Butterworth was a minister of the Unity Movement who wrote 16 books on metaphysical spirituality. He believed in teaching others how to help themselves and often gave lectures and radio broadcasts saying, “You can change your life by altering your thoughts.” One of his famous admirers is Dr. Maya Angelou.

I firmly believe we should continually learn and better ourselves throughout our lives. There is no specific age when we should stop growing.  We can always find ways to do more and we need to be able to adapt because our environments are constantly changing.

“Not everything that is faced can be changed. But nothing can be changed until it is faced.” James Arthur Baldwin

Baldwin was an African-American poet, playwright, and author who grew up in Harlem in the late 1920’s. Fed up with the amount of racial and sexual discrimination in the US, he moved to France in 1948 to take his writing to the next level. He wrote numerous essays, plays, short stories, and novels in his lifetime.

I like this quote because it reminds us that it takes action to get results. We may not be successful every time, but we won’t get anywhere if we don’t try.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore! Dream!! Discover!!!” Mark Twain

Twain as you know is a legendary author who also had a lot of success as a public speaker. He traveled around the world in 1895 to many places incluing Sri Lanka, India, Mauritius, and South Africa. Did you know he had to propose to his wife twice before she accepted? Besides his love of writing, he also had avid interests in technology and science.

Even though Twain lived in such a different world than we do now, his words are timeless. Don’t be afraid to try something new. It’s so much better to have given something your best shot and failed vs having to your life looking back with a list of “what ifs.”  Want more inspirational quotes?  Check out my post on the Top 10 Quotes from the Wear Sunscreen Speech and Steve Job’s Commencement Speech, “Find What You Love.”

Untemplaters, what is your favorite inspirational quote from this post? Do you have a particular quote or two that you like to reference when you need a boost?

Photo Credit: Sydney

This is a popular week for reflecting on life and giving thanks for our family, friends, and health. After all, these three combined have a huge impact on our daily lives. There are countless things I’m thankful for every day, and I hope you feel the same way. Now I want you to take a moment for yourself and reflect on the power of choices and change. They shouldn’t be overlooked when giving thanks!

Choose To Be Happy → Change Your Mindset

Happiness is a choice. It really is! Happiness doesn’t come from being rich or popular. Nor does it exist in material possessions. Happiness comes from within you and is absolutely free! If you aren’t already, please find a way to laugh every day and I guarantee your happiness meter will rise. Once you realize that you can control your thoughts, you can change your mindset and your life.

Choose To Get Educated → Change Your Career

It makes me sad and sometimes even annoyed when I hear people complain endlessly about how they hate their jobs. They get so entangled in their own negativity and nagging, and expect others to feel sorry for them.  No thanks!  Constant complainers waste so much precious time and often don’t realize that their attitude pushes others away. There’s SO much truth in the phrase “knowledge is power.” If you’re unhappy with your job or industry, don’t just sit there! Start researching, reading, saving, learning and change your career!

Choose To Travel → Change Your Perspective

A lot of people are scared to travel or assume customs are the same all over the world and never leave their comfort zone. I’ve been fortunate to do a fair amount of traveling and can vouch that experiencing other cultures is life changing. I believe there would be a lot less hate in the world if more people educated themselves on different cultures.  Learning a foreign language is a fun way expand your horizons and there’s lots of free resources online and at public libraries.  There are so many amazing places to see and people to meet domestically and abroad.  Go exploring and change your perspective.

Choose To Get Active → Change Your Lifestyle

Whether or not you believe in fate, don’t rely on the universe to unfold your future for you. Cuz if you do, you’ll be stuck waiting a really, really long time! If you want to lose weight, start eating healthier and get up and exercise. Tired of being alone every weekend? Start making plans and fill up your social calendar! Want to be your own boss? Go draft up some ideas, make a business plan, and start a side business. You have the power to make choices and change your life.

Work where you want…Live how you want…Be who you want to be!

Untemplater’s Black Friday Giveaway

I want to send out a big THANK YOU to each of you for supporting Untemplater with your readership and comments. It truly means a lot!

I’ll be announcing a Black Friday giveaway to all Untemplater email subscribers in the upcoming newsletter this Friday so don’t miss your chance to win! Get an extra entry just by submitting a comment on this post. Not a subscriber yet? Just use the blue sign up form at the top right of this page, it’s easy!

Untemplaters, what are some choices you’ve made this year and what changes did they have on your life? What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving?

I’m obsessed with tilt-shift photography.  If you’ve never heard of it before, it’s a way of manipulating an image either through special lenses or by applying filters that make the objects in the image appear miniature like in the image I shot above.  There’s just something magical about all things mini that always makes me smile.

Perhaps it’s the birds eye feel of the style that gets me giddy and makes the world seem more extraordinary. Or maybe it’s the memories I recall from my travel adventures when I’m staring out the window of an airplane right before touching down to a new destination.

But mostly it’s seems to be the reminder that the world is such a vast, amazing place, and our troubles are so microscopic in comparison.  There’s a calming effect about that realization and I encourage you to think about that.  We get so caught up in paralyzing thoughts like “I’m so busy…I’m so stressed…I’m so troubled…I’m so miserable…me me me me” that we forget about all the glorious things around us.

If you get too focused on yourself and your own anxieties, you’ll lose sight of life.  Miniaturize yourself in your surroundings once in a while and you’ll realize that all of your worries are really insignificant and there’s no need to let them keep holding you back anymore.  The world is always in motion.  Life is always in motion.  If you try to stand still too long, you’re going to get knocked over.

Shrink your fears and concerns until they disappear.  Free your mind and keep moving forward.

Here are some brilliant tilt-shift videos by a talented Greek photographer, Emmanouil Papadopoulos, that will help you miniaturize and keep moving forward.

Untemplaters, are your troubles currently keeping you in a stand still?  Have you ever tried to miniaturize your stress and anxieties?  What keeps you moving forward?

Letting Go of Fear Will Set You Free

For the first half of my life, I was the type of girl who was scared of everything.  I hid in the corners at parties, turned bright red when my teachers called on me in class, dreaded walking up and introducing myself to people, was terrified of talking to guys, and shied away from big crowds.  In other words, I was a total wimp.

I started to grow out of these fears when I was halfway through high school, but I was still a socially awkward mess.  My self-esteem issues made me an easy target for getting picked on and it sucked.  I let the dumbest things embarrass me and my fears were paralyzing my everyday life.

It wasn’t until my early twenties that I finally started to realize how dumb it was to be scared of everything.  It really didn’t matter what other people thought of me, if I screwed up, and that I didn’t know all the answers or the right things to say in every situation.  I started to let go of my fears one by one, and embrace change.  If you want more out of life and love, you have to believe in yourself first and then start taking risks.

Life Is Too Short to Stay Stuck

In my quest for change, I decided I needed to get some spice in my life.  My inner voice told me the first step was to escape from sleepy suburbia.  I wanted more culture, better weather, great food, new opportunities, and an exciting social life.  So I packed 2 suitcases, bought a 1-way ticket cross country to San Francisco, and never looked back.

I didn’t have a job waiting for me there, no family members nearby, and only about $500 in my checking account.  Risky?  Yes!  But I was tired of feeling stuck and living in other people’s shadows, so I took a chance.

It was the craziest thing I’d ever done and it felt fantastic!  I finally felt like my life was in motion.  It took a lot of networking, job applications, and tons of rejections, but the more I reached out to people and put myself out there, the more things started to move.  I followed every lead and ended up getting an amazing job with a small business owner.

If I hadn’t made the choice to let go of my fears and start taking risks, I would still be a scared and lonely gal with one boring and unsuccessful life.

Happiness is a Choice

Some people are born optimists.  Others like me, and perhaps you too, have to stumble along and go through all sorts of craziness and darkness before finding a path of positive thinking.

My life was stuck in a stand still before I started to take risks.   I was depressed, moody, and frustrated until I learned to squash my fears, stop worrying so much, and focus on the positives.  Once I decided to get up, take action and break out of my funk, my life turned around completely.  If I can do it, you can too!

You don’t need all the answers now or a laundry list of awards under your belt to be happy.   Make the choice to find the positives in yourself and every situation.  You’re more powerful than you think!

The power of our minds

Once I began to take control of my thoughts and started thinking in a new way, my life started moving forward.  My mind had been holding me hostage for years by filling my thoughts with fears of failure, fears of embarrassment, fears of taking action.

Untemplater will show you how to shatter the template lifestyle, but ultimately YOU have to believe that you can have a better life, and be willing to change.  Even if this isn’t something you’re comfortable with right now, that’s okay.  We all have different tolerances for risk and embracing change.

Just try to keep an open mind and recognize that even though our minds are powerful, they can also get lazy and stall.  Apathy is a clever trick our mind traps us with because it attacks when we’re weak.

So if you want to change your life around, you better be prepared to dodge these types of traps.  It takes determination, initiative, and optimism to get your life off of autopilot.

The Untemplate Lifestyle Has Never Been More Realistic

The amount of free resources out there today is phenomenal, especially since I can remember the days before the Internet.  There’s no reason to keep making excuses and putting your dreams on hold anymore.  If you’re willing to put in the effort, you can break free of the fears and roadblocks that are leaving you stuck in a template lifestyle.

Focus your energy on seeking out the career, relationships, and life experiences that make you come alive!

Untemplaters, what are your biggest fears now and what fears have you overcome?  What are you willing to do to shatter the template lifestyle?  Are you ready to start thinking like an optimist?

Have you ever thought self-help books are boring and only written on topics you can’t relate to?  So not true!  They are actually quite a fun genre to read and are a great way to improve your lifestyle and open your eyes to new ways of thinking.  One such example I recently read is Gabrielle Bernstein’s new book, Spirit Junkie, and I have two free copies to giveaway to some lucky Untemplater readers!

Who’s Gabrielle Bernstein?

She’s a Gen Y motivational speaker, entrepreneur, life coach, and author who grew up in NY and graduated from Syracuse University with a theater degree.  She co-founded a non-profit called Women’s Entrepreneurial Network only a year after finishing college, and then started her own PR company shortly thereafter.

Bernstein’s a savvy go-getter who found her spiritual journey and path to help others after recovering from a severe addiction to drugs and alcohol.  Gabrielle’s first book, Add More ~ing to Your Life, was published just last year.  And an odd but neat talent she has is riding around on a unicycle, which is certainly no easy task and not something you’d think of just by looking at her.

What’s Spirit Junkie About?

The book covers her spiritual journey from high school through her entrepreneurial days after college.  From her own personal experiences, Gabrielle also helps us identify and squash our own fears and bad habits, and learn how to replace them with happiness, positive actions, and meditations.

What I Liked About the Book

• Gabrielle’s writing style is honest and from the heart.

• She touches on the darkest, scariest moments in her life and is living proof that you can turn your life around completely and find pure happiness.

• Many of the emotions she highlights are things we’ve all experienced: fears of being alone, love and loss, struggling to please others, fighting and suppressing thoughts and feelings, and anxiety.

• Many of the chapters include summaries, which are great to bookmark.

• There are several sections throughout the book with helpful tips on meditation and exercises.

What You Should Know Before Reading Spirit Junkie

• Some of the concepts get slightly repetitive towards the end, but Bernstein’s personal experiences are woven in well and left me wanting to hear more stories about her life.

• If you’re easily offended by swearing or are giving Spirit Junkie to a young adult reader, be aware there’s a handful of times she uses the “s” word.

• The book has a total of 12 chapters, 288 pages, and is available in hardcover, Kindle, and Nook.

• You can order a copy of of the book on Amazon here: Spirit Junkie

Giveaway Instructions

TWO lucky readers will win!  Increase your changes of winning by completing all of the below.

+1 Untemplater’s homepage, 2 points
+1 recent post(s), 1 point each
Retweet this post, 1 point
Like Untemplater on FB, 1 point
Subscribe to RSS, 1 point
Sign up for the newsletter, 1 point

Then list which of the above items you’ve completed in a comment below.  If you’ve already subscribed and like Untemplater on FB, do let me know because that still counts!  Get 2 bonus points if you share what your favorite self-help book is in your comment.  Entries close 9/15 at 6pm PST. (Note: this giveaway is now closed)

Untemplaters, do you consider yourself a spiritual person?  Are you a fan of self-help books – why/why not? 

A common interview question is “what inspires you?”  Since interviews are usually not the best time to delve into deep personal issues, most people usually respond with dry, uncreative answers like “my parents,” or “being able to learn new things.”  Don’t worry about how you may have answered that in the past, I want you to think about how you would answer that question right now.

We all find inspiration differently.

Some of us need time alone to find it, looking within.  Others have more success looking outwards, observing and interacting.  There is no golden answer to the question “what inspires you.”  And your answer certainly doesn’t have to be singular, I find inspiration in more things than I can count.  No one can tell you how or what you should be inspired by; you have to find out for yourself.  What I can tell you is that when you come across these things, people, and/or places you will know.

Looking back at my life, my answers to the question “what inspires you” have changed dramatically over time, and rather frequently too.  When I was a teenager I so desperately wanted to be a famous actor like so many other people, and I watched movies and plays all the time admiring how everyone in the cast “had done it” and that meant there was hope for me too.

Focus on now.  The past doesn’t matter.

While I still enjoy the theater and watching blockbuster hits, my interest in acting has long passed, and although I still have mad respect for anyone who’s a working actor, that’s not a source of inspiration for me anymore and I’m totally fine with that.  My goals and priorities have changed, and the people that inspire me now are bloggers, world travelers, and entrepreneurs.

People are amazing.  I’m constantly amazed at the accomplishments people achieve every day.  But for me, getting inspired by people alone isn’t enough.  The majority of my inspirations are actually drawn from nature and travel.

Trails are always changing.

I always feel inspired when I’m hiking because I notice something new everywhere I go, even if I’m wandering down the same trail for the hundredth time.  Nature is always active, finding ways to survive and flourish, and I love that.

Wandering down dirt trails with the feel of the ground beneath my feet, my mind clears and my stresses melt away.  Nature humbles me, and reassures me that all the things have been bothering me really don’t matter in the big picture.  Hiking helps me squash my fears and inhibitions and makes me believe that anything is possible.

For those of you who like to hike, here are a few of my favorite trails that have inspired me and I think you’ll enjoy too.

• Kalalau Trail, Napali Coast, Kauai
• Panorama Trail, Yosemite Valley
• Sunset Trail, Fort Funston
• Solitude Trail, Squaw Valley
• Summit Loop Trail, San Bruno Mountain State Park
• Maunawili Falls Trail, Oahu

So Untemplaters, what inspires you?  I have a feeling most of you already know what your answers are.    Will you share a few with us?  Keep reaching for your dreams!