Comments on: Digital Dating and the Double Edged Twitter Feed http://untemplater.com/relationships/digital-dating-and-the-double-edged-twitter-feed/ Shatter the Template Lifestyle Fri, 10 Feb 2012 20:05:32 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Why Girls Don’t Talk To Me - Untemplater — Untemplaterhttp://untemplater.com/relationships/digital-dating-and-the-double-edged-twitter-feed/#comment-7193 Why Girls Don’t Talk To Me - Untemplater — Untemplater Thu, 25 Aug 2011 06:39:38 +0000 http://untemplater.com/?p=374#comment-7193 [...] myself in an uncommon situation of having little to say sometimes.  Nicole wrote a great bit about dating in the digital era a few weeks ago.  It sure ain’t easy for me at times, especially if I am brewing to talk about [...] [...] myself in an uncommon situation of having little to say sometimes.  Nicole wrote a great bit about dating in the digital era a few weeks ago.  It sure ain’t easy for me at times, especially if I am brewing to talk about [...]

]]> By: Trace Mayerhttp://untemplater.com/relationships/digital-dating-and-the-double-edged-twitter-feed/#comment-1250 Trace Mayer Wed, 27 Jan 2010 03:34:08 +0000 http://untemplater.com/?p=374#comment-1250 "but I wonder if all of this transparency is really just making us a generation of damn good liars."I would not use such a harsh term as liar but perhaps creative marketer. Living in society requires we disclose some degree of information. But the individual largely retains the power to determine what secrets are disclosed and revealed. Without the ability to keep secrets, individuals lose the capacity to distinguish themselves from others, to maintain independent lives, to be complete and autonomous persons.This does not mean that a person actually has to keep secrets to be autonomous, just that she or he must possess the ability to do so. The ability to keep secrets implies the ability to disclose secrets selectively, and so the capacity for selective disclosure at one’s own discretion is important to individual autonomy as well. Therefore, secrecy is a form of power and is often used as such in relationships, but is that a good thing? Perhaps completely transparent self-confidence is even more powerful?I know I find it a very tight balancing act and while I do not care much about Facestalkers I do intentionally and deliberately craft their experience. “but I wonder if all of this transparency is really just making us a generation of damn good liars.”

I would not use such a harsh term as liar but perhaps creative marketer. Living in society requires we disclose some degree of information. But the individual largely retains the power to determine what secrets are disclosed and revealed. Without the ability to keep secrets, individuals lose the capacity to distinguish themselves from others, to maintain independent lives, to be complete and autonomous persons.

This does not mean that a person actually has to keep secrets to be autonomous, just that she or he must possess the ability to do so. The ability to keep secrets implies the ability to disclose secrets selectively, and so the capacity for selective disclosure at one’s own discretion is important to individual autonomy as well. Therefore, secrecy is a form of power and is often used as such in relationships, but is that a good thing? Perhaps completely transparent self-confidence is even more powerful?

I know I find it a very tight balancing act and while I do not care much about Facestalkers I do intentionally and deliberately craft their experience.

]]> By: Norcrosshttp://untemplater.com/relationships/digital-dating-and-the-double-edged-twitter-feed/#comment-1220 Norcross Tue, 26 Jan 2010 06:43:34 +0000 http://untemplater.com/?p=374#comment-1220 Funny enough, I met my wife on MySpace (back in 2004, when it wasn't all glitter and Facebook was college-only). It honestly seemed weird at the time. Now, it's as though we're trailblazers.(I'm just a nerd, though) Funny enough, I met my wife on MySpace (back in 2004, when it wasn’t all glitter and Facebook was college-only). It honestly seemed weird at the time. Now, it’s as though we’re trailblazers.

(I’m just a nerd, though)

]]> By: Nicole Antoinettehttp://untemplater.com/relationships/digital-dating-and-the-double-edged-twitter-feed/#comment-1208 Nicole Antoinette Mon, 25 Jan 2010 21:04:47 +0000 http://untemplater.com/?p=374#comment-1208 There's something so gorgeously poignant about what you just said. It makes me all, "Yes! Life is fluid! Things change!" and other such statements ending in eleventy thousand exclamation points. There’s something so gorgeously poignant about what you just said. It makes me all, “Yes! Life is fluid! Things change!” and other such statements ending in eleventy thousand exclamation points.

]]> By: JR Moreauhttp://untemplater.com/relationships/digital-dating-and-the-double-edged-twitter-feed/#comment-1207 JR Moreau Mon, 25 Jan 2010 20:48:17 +0000 http://untemplater.com/?p=374#comment-1207 If you stop blogging then it's a part of your past... whatever makes you up. We've all dealt with our pasts in some way or another... regrettable hookups, embarrassing jobs, inconvenient acquaintances. People grow up and people grow past. Not to say that you need to grow up, I think you're quite grown :-D If you stop blogging then it’s a part of your past… whatever makes you up. We’ve all dealt with our pasts in some way or another… regrettable hookups, embarrassing jobs, inconvenient acquaintances. People grow up and people grow past. Not to say that you need to grow up, I think you’re quite grown :-D

]]> By: Nicole Antoinettehttp://untemplater.com/relationships/digital-dating-and-the-double-edged-twitter-feed/#comment-1206 Nicole Antoinette Mon, 25 Jan 2010 20:44:56 +0000 http://untemplater.com/?p=374#comment-1206 I think I'm doing much of the same. I'm very "um, this is who I am, either get on board or don't," but I often wonder what the ramifications are of that. Like, am I going to blog forever? What happens if I stop? etc. etc. I think I’m doing much of the same. I’m very “um, this is who I am, either get on board or don’t,” but I often wonder what the ramifications are of that. Like, am I going to blog forever? What happens if I stop? etc. etc.

]]> By: Nicole Antoinettehttp://untemplater.com/relationships/digital-dating-and-the-double-edged-twitter-feed/#comment-1205 Nicole Antoinette Mon, 25 Jan 2010 20:42:56 +0000 http://untemplater.com/?p=374#comment-1205 For me, it isn't a question of honesty vs. dishonesty. Everything I put out in the online space is definitely authentic, and anyone who's interested can easily find out tons of information about me, but this information doesn't make up all of who I am. The secret keeping is in reference to the fact that while I'm honest with who I am online, I'm also diligent in choosing not to reveal certain facts, etc. that I don't think should be for public consumption and I assume that other people operate similarly, which sometimes makes it hard to get to know each other the same way we would if we met offline.Oh, and your last point is great, that it's only a problem if we let it become a problem, something that I think is true of so many things. For me, it isn’t a question of honesty vs. dishonesty. Everything I put out in the online space is definitely authentic, and anyone who’s interested can easily find out tons of information about me, but this information doesn’t make up all of who I am. The secret keeping is in reference to the fact that while I’m honest with who I am online, I’m also diligent in choosing not to reveal certain facts, etc. that I don’t think should be for public consumption and I assume that other people operate similarly, which sometimes makes it hard to get to know each other the same way we would if we met offline.

Oh, and your last point is great, that it’s only a problem if we let it become a problem, something that I think is true of so many things.

]]> By: Nicole Antoinettehttp://untemplater.com/relationships/digital-dating-and-the-double-edged-twitter-feed/#comment-1202 Nicole Antoinette Mon, 25 Jan 2010 20:37:26 +0000 http://untemplater.com/?p=374#comment-1202 I know right?! Like, as if dating isn't horrendous enough on its own, now we have this fine line to walk. Sigh. Never ending drama. I know right?! Like, as if dating isn’t horrendous enough on its own, now we have this fine line to walk. Sigh. Never ending drama.

]]> By: Nicole Antoinettehttp://untemplater.com/relationships/digital-dating-and-the-double-edged-twitter-feed/#comment-1201 Nicole Antoinette Mon, 25 Jan 2010 20:36:34 +0000 http://untemplater.com/?p=374#comment-1201 "I know I’m willing to look past a perceived blemish if I can be instantly guaranteed that you won’t bore the shit out of me down the road."Yes, yes, yes. So well said. And it's snowing here in SF, so we might have to hold off on camping for a bit :) “I know I’m willing to look past a perceived blemish if I can be instantly guaranteed that you won’t bore the shit out of me down the road.”

Yes, yes, yes. So well said. And it’s snowing here in SF, so we might have to hold off on camping for a bit :)

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