I recently posted a comment on Facebook that basically gave a big Fuck You to the entire state of Georgia for their arbitrary liquor laws that prevent me from purchasing any sort of alcohol just because it’s a certain day of the week (Sunday). My complaint is that the law is archaic, ignorant, and outdated. I could probably have written a long rant about the topic, but instead I chose to express my frustration with a firm Fuck You.
I got reamed for using the F word in a public forum. Really, for using the F word at all.
A little background: I am constantly looking for ways to take my career and lifestyle to the next level. One of my biggest goals for the next year is to become a creative, prolific writer. As Untemplater believers, many of you will have the same goal, though it might manifest in a different way. In trying to reach my goal, however, I’ve gotten much more comfortable with the F-word.
In fact, I’ve noticed that the most productive and creative people in the world, both online and offline, seem to use the F word more.
Think about it. Lacing your sentences with the F word at every turn is unprofessional, offensive, and unnecessary by all traditional standards. Not only that, but the F word is probably the most uncreative word you could possibly use in daily speech. The problem is, when you are really angry, frustrated, worried, or stressed, sometimes the easiest way to blow off steam and get back to work is to let out a big Fuck and just be done with it.
And that’s the thing about creativity. We are all creative, yet we only have so much creative energy for our daily and weekly tasks. When the gas tank is empty, the car stops moving. You are done for the week, no matter how many physical hours more you put in.
There are people who spend lots of time trying to come up with creative ways to not say the word Fuck when they would have. Fudge, fumble bee, mother father, or my personal favorite, mother chucker (Gossip Girl anyone?), are all just creative ways to say the exact same thing without actually saying Fuck. In other words, you are wasting all of your creativity and wittiness on avoiding a word that causes no physical harm and only has meaning when you let it.
So what are we doing, really? Trying not to offend anyone? Of course, the people who are truly offended by the word Fuck are also wasting their creative energy being offended. Within minutes of posting my two sentence annoyance on Facebook, a bunch of people sent me long messages explaining why they commented or why they got offended, blah blah blah. To be honest, I didn’t write them back. It’s not that I don’t care, it’s just that I’m busy getting real shit done and I’m not going to waste any of my creative energy on their personal dramas that likely have nothing to do with me in the first place.
Do you use the F word? Does it affect your productivity or creativity? Gary Vaynerchuk, Tim Ferriss, and Penelope Trunk all use the word Fuck liberally, and I don’t see them suffering from lack of professional relationships, loss in job opportunities, or issues with personal branding.
I’m not saying start WWIII with your F bombs, but maybe letting loose will bring you more success in the long run. What do you think?
{ 41 comments }
I am personally turned off by “professional” people that use the “f-word” online or in a professional setting. I think it is something young people think is OK, but the more professional they become the more they will realize it makes them look ignorant and non-professional.
I’ve learned that you will get much further, and be much happier for it, to be who you are, and not try to act like someone you’re not. Even if that means swearing in a public forum.
Of course, if you’re a writer or a speaker and you can’t complete a sentence without an expletive…well, maybe you need to think about who you are
Agreed. I think this was the first time I’d ever used the F word online. And I wrote it as F*ck, so does that really count?
I’m actually amazed at how little I swear online and in public forums. I don’t purposely go out of my way to keep everything I write clean, but I have become accustomed to carrying myself that way online.
I’m a big believer in maintaining your image and I don’t think swearing would benefit me in any way. Anything you do online potentially stays there forever, so if you want future employers or grandkids to see how you’ve acted you may want to consider that
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Okay Steve. So I’m with you on cursing not actually benefiting your career. It doesn’t, unless you are a weird, artistic type. Then I think it helps you focus your energy on more important things, as I stated above.
Here is what I don’t get though: “anything you do online potentially stays there forever.”
So honestly, like who is looking? Who is keeping track of that tweet you put out a year ago, and who is going to bring it up as evidence that you are not “professional” later on in your life? Are they going to print it out and put in in your file so when you are ready for a promotion, they can point to it?
In 99.99% of cases, No. Because 99.99% of us are not stupid enough to tweet something really ridiculous that would be worthy of a company holding back a promotion from us.
And these comments have me thinking, do people actually worry about this stuff? It seems so misplaced. First, most employers understand that people curse in their personal lives. Second, most people are incredibly boring online, and tracking their moves is blah. Third, the stuff we do is far more ephemeral than people want to believe. It takes a lot of work to find my 453rd tweet again. And I guarantee Google isn’t turning up that result first.
You’re right. I don’t really think or worry about it either, and I don’t really know who would be looking for anything like that, but I guess I could see a situation where it could be unfortunate for somebody. It will be interesting to see how services like Twitter evolve. Right now, it is pretty difficult to get to your old tweets.
Most likely, it’s not something that would hurt you down the road so much as the initial moment you say it. Some people may think negatively about it and unfollow you, while others may get a bad first impression. I guess I’m just thinking about it from a public relations point of view.
haha Could you see someone running for president years from now and the media starts asking them about their social network activity?
The future will be interesting, but for now….f*ck worrying.
The New York Times magazine wrote about online privacy, which is an issue that has several tangents to this argument (namely the question about if data ever dies)
“With Web sites like LOL Facebook Moments, which collects and shares embarrassing personal revelations from Facebook users, ill-advised photos and online chatter are coming back to haunt people months or years after the fact. Examples are proliferation daily: there was the 16-year oold British girl who was fired from her office job for complaining on Facebook, ‘I’m so totally bored!!’; there was the 66-year-old Canadian psychotherapist who tried to enter the United States but was turned away at the border — and barred permanently from visiting the country — after a border guard’s Internet search found that the therapist had written an article in a philosophy journal describing his experimental 30 years ago with L.S.D.
According to a recent survey by Microsoft, 75 percent of the U.S. recruiters and human-resource professionals report that their companies require them to do online research about candidates, and many use a range of sites when scruitinizing applicants — including search engines, social-networking sites, photo- and video-sharing sites, personal Web sites and blogs, Twitter and online-gaming sites. Seventy percent of U.S. recruiters report that they have rejected candidates because of information found online, like photos and discussion-board conversations and membership in controversial groups.”
The rest of the article can be read on the NY Times website: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/07/25/magazine/25privacy-t2.html?_r=1&src=me&ref=magazine
There was a story in the news a couple weeks ago about a Best Buy employee who was suspended because he posted YouTube videos making fun of customers of certain products (iPhone and HTC phones), even though no reference to Best Buy was used.
And you would be suprised what does show up in a Google search. I googled myself a few months ago and found a mention of something I did in high school (I had my 10 year reunion last year).
I’ve never hidden the fact that I can be (at times) crass and a bit surly. As Dawn mentioned, it’s who I am. Do I go out of my way to swear? No. Does it happen often? Yes. At some point I just decided to stop filtering myself and let whatever comes out of my mouth be it. Its easier to defend that way, too.
In other words, fuckin’ A.
Can we get Disqus goin’ here so I can like this comment?
hahaha….not anytime soon, man. Third party services ain’t my game. Although I’ve been working on a way to allow a ‘like’ function within a site. One of the things on my list of ‘fun projects’ that keeps getting bigger.
Disqus is great for continuing the conversation though. For example, I would have seen this comment a week ago, but instead, had to come back here to manually see if anybody replied to me.
So inefficient…
Dawn, I think that that applies to everyone, not just writers and speakers. I once knew a guy who swore like a sailor (actually, he was retired Navy…); it was the single most off-putting thing about him that kept me and others from ever really becoming that close to him.
I haven’t read Gary V yet or Penelope Trunk, but when I listed to the audiobook of 4 Hour Work Week, Ferriss’s language was disconcerting and was part of the je ne sais pas quality that I didn’t like about the man.
While I will occasionally mutter F* under my breath when I am upset, it is not something I ever put in writing. When I do use it, I try to use it as a verb, noun, and adjective all in one sentence.
I will admit that I respect the person who can swear creatively, especially with limited or no expletives. One of the drivers at my old job was like that. When he swore, it wasn’t just a swear, it was a story.
I have images of “The Winnebago Man” going through my head right now. Indeed that is pure entertainment!
Ahhhh, great movie!
I don’t use the F-bomb in person or online. I just don’t see the need to. Sure Mark Twain said that “under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.”
But here’s the thing: when I work with clients, I hear cursing only at the bottom and at the top. The front-line workers, and the executives. Now, if you are working in a company (at least in most cases), this is part of the “polish” that you need to develop in order to move up the ladder. Once you’re at the top, your experience and reputation precede; in fact, a lot of C-level and executives have the worst language around. But I’m going to venture to guess that as they were in the middle management ranks, they didn’t talk like that.
At the end of the day, I adhere to the George Washington philosophy – “The foolish and wicked practice of profane cursing and swearing is a vice so mean and low that every person of sense and character detests and despises it”
While I don’t intentionally use the F-word, I agree with Monica’s arguments. Though I will say that there’s a sizable divide (think Grand Canyon) between Gary V’s usage of Fuck (wow, I said it) and Tim Ferriss’. Just saying
Also, killer image!
Matt
I wrote a post explaining that I am a devout Christian…who says the hallowed “F-word” multiple times a day. Words are just sounds that are given meaning by the one speaking them AND the one(s) hearing them.
But that is also the problem. Words that have such a high stigma attached to them, while they are no big deal to you, may carry an entirely different meaning to the people hearing/reading them. Obviously, I don’t think we need to filter ourselves to the point of being unauthentic. However, as writers our goal is to use words to convey something of intent. If we use words that have such varied meaning, we risk conveying a message that is not ours.
The word ‘vulgar’ originally referred to the language of the uneducated. We’ve somehow transformed it to mean ‘rude’, but that is not its original meaning. When we use vulgarity, we are speaking as one who is uneducated. I’m often fine with that when it comes to my verbal communication since the subject matter is often stupid and juvenile. But since anything I put online can “magically” pop back up when I am in a setting I want to be professional, I always try to make sure it’s something I wouldn’t mind seeing.
If you believe that your target audience could never EVER misconstrue your message when using a certain set of words, go for it…knowing that you will probably alienate some people. On the other hand, those of us who swear regularly are almost never alienated by someone who doesn’t.
And that’s my $.02.
I don’t know. I’ve found that the most interesting writing can often be interpreted several different ways and always alienates some people because it speaks directly to the heart of a very specific audience.
“most interesting writing…always alienates some people” – Really? Not sure I’d agree with an absolute on this statement, but I think I can see where you’re going with this.
However, even according to your own reply, it seems you might believe that alienation should occur as a result of the thoughts presented (i.e. “interesting writing”), not just because someone said “shit” or “fuck”. I’d still say those are two different things.
Thoughts?
I feel that words are words. I can’t comprehend that one set of letters strung together equals taboo and unprofessional while another set is proper and dignified. Fuck is an extremely versatile word that can add a punchy point or let off some steam and I’m just as inclined to use it as any other word.
I’m rarely turned off by someone cursing profusely unless it’s directed at me in a derogatory way. It’s all about context.
I’m pretty surprised by these responses! I definitely use the F bomb online. Not all the time- but I try to be as authentic as possible, online and off. AND. I love the juxtaposition between the crudeness of the word, the bluntness of it, and my graceful self.
So in other words….Fuck yeah.
As a writer I see the difference between the spoken and the written word, one is immediate, the other considered.
‘Fuck’ can be used in speech because speech is expressive in an immediate way and is accompanied by tonal, bodily and facial expressions that inform and illuminate it. The written word does not have this and must stand in its own right.
I would never use the word in writing unless there was a specific reason, as above. To me it insults the reader, particularly knowing that many people are simply, and reasonably, offended by it. As writers we need to find ways of expressing our emotions that are simply more interesting and expressive than the lazy use of ‘FUCK’ or any of the pointless phrases that say it without saying it.
Saying that you have run out of creative juices is just a story, if you have nothing more to say than swearing then go to the mirror and swear at yourself.
Right. So the post actually says that by cursing sparingly, you can save your creative juices for more important things. In other words, by being lazy now I can be productive later, when it matters.
It depends on what matters to you, I suppose. If witty expressions of anger is your thing, that’s cool. But I personally haven’t figured out how to sell that as creative writing yet. I’m sure someone else could.
Being lazy now does not make you more productive later, it just makes you lazy. There is no limited supply of creative juices, I find that creativity creates creativity. Surely it always matters how you portray yourself. It’s even more insulting to the people you are addressing to say it doesn’t matter what I say to you, so fuck you!
Finally you make the mistake of separating writing from ‘creative’ writing, there is really no difference. Once you see that you’re approach will change, you will see your writing as an expression of who you are, how you approach life. Remember on the page it is all people have to go by.
There are limits to all types of energy: you’re limited by how tired you are (physical), you’re limited by the amount of time you have (24 hours a day). I don’t believe you can keep going or that creativity actually creates more creativity, but then again I was a physics major so I know the science behind this stuff.
Also, all writing is creative. I never said otherwise. But I would rather have my novel be creative than what I’m adding to this comment thread.
Strictly speaking, there is no such thing a creative “energy” no more than there is a centrifugal “force.” My experience has been that creativity is more of a mood than an energy. And rarely does that mood spring up by itself but only by putting myself to the task. And starting out “lazy” doesn’t help anymore than starting my workout with an easy routine increases my motivation to workout. I don’t start to feel motivated to workout or to create (be it words, wood, or yarn) until I’ve actually gotten into the zone by doing something that required work and determination.
Do you ever wonder if you are fighting a losing battle…
)
I would disagree with the “physics” you speak of. We’re not talking about a battery that is going to run out. Instead, creativity is due to how our brain works; the physics have to do with connections in our brain. Constant exercising of those connections create more connections, not deplete them.
It’s more like working out a muscles allowing you to lift larger things with more ease than to say that you will run out of creative energy.
Have you considered that this appears to be more of a rationalization for saying “naughty words” online than for saving up creative energy. I don’t necessarily think that was your intent, but I believe it comes across that way.
But then again, you did say “most interesting writing can often be interpreted several different ways”.
I’m not sure I buy your assumption that we have a finite amount of creative energy, and figuring out how to circumlocute profanity in some way “uses it up,” diminishing our store for more important tasks. As far as I can see, creativity has more to do with viewing the world through a unique and useful lens, and being able to successfully share that perspective with others. Creativity isn’t a lightbulb that one can choose to turn on or off at will in order to “save” valuable energy. All we can control is the amount of time we spend each day actively working on our specific creative projects.
And I think replacing expletives with milder words is in no way the same kind of creative work that one does when actually putting together a piece or pursuing a project. You might work creatively for a few minutes to come up with alternative phrases, but after you’ve established your profanity replacement repertoire, repeating those phrases in the suitable situations is just as rote as the act of cursing itself.
Personally, I have moved from swearing fluently and prolifically to peppering my speech with obvious non-swears. I find a “frig” or a “dang” to add a little levity what otherwise come across as an excessively negative diatribe. Plus, there is the added advantage of not offending more conservative types while still retaining the sentiment you want to convey.
Most importantly, if you cut back on your cursing, the proper words will have the greatest possible impact when you do make the reasoned decision to apply them. If you mutter “fuck!” at the lightest provocation, you’ll have to scream “rape a baby!” to get people’s attention when you want it most. It seems prudent to stop your part in the profanity arms race just so you retain the ability to go nuclear when you need it most.
I like this. Aside from the parts implying we could have an infinite amount of creative energy.
I don’t see creative energy as a light switch, but I don’t think it strikes you on a whim, either. You can definitely turn it on. How else would people make a profession of it through writing, music, and more?
Like anything, an overuse of any thing is bad. I don’t mind the word on occassion, but a constant use is annoying, and you won’t get hired in many establishments.
I think it’s a fine line. If “Jersey Shore” taught me anything, it was 1) stay away from sunless tanners (as a redhead, I hate this) and 2) overuse of anything ruins the effect. I think that F-Bombs should be reserved for when things are there absolute worst, and frankly it is being overused by the Ed Hardy and popped-collar sets. I try my best to wait until things are at their absolute worst before I let that word rip, just because in the house I grew up in, it was the worst of the swear words, and it was used as it should have been, the be-all-end-all word to end all words.
Basically, what I’m trying to say is use it, but use it well, only when things are bad enough to warrant a word of that potency and are… well, fucked.
Fuck yeah, why not?
Imo, it depends on the context – the seriousness, the mood, and the general etiquette/policies of the community. People will have different levels of toleration of the word in different settings.
I’m glad you brought this topic up, Monica, because it’s something I’ve been wondering about recently too. I feel like people always use * or $% or whatever online to shield what their swears, but we all KNOW what they REALLY mean, so what’s the difference??
David, Jason and friends at 37signals have some cool thoughts on this idea. Generally, I think that you should be who you are no matter what. If you like to slip in a shit or dammit every now and then in your speech, then please do. I do it all the time. Am I a worse person? No.
As you said, if you’re saying fuck every six seconds, then maybe you should head back to those vocab workbooks and learn some alternative words to more effectively communicate.
But not swearing because it’s not “proper”? Fuck that. I’m me. Deal with it.
Like everything else, it’s all about balance. Sure, be yourself and curse when needed, but saying fuck every 3 words doesn’t make you sound original or creative. It makes you sound ignorant.
This is particularly noticeable in people trying to learn English. It’s all about “fucking thing” and “what the fuck” and other fucking expressions (I know, I’ve been there). They use fuck for every language gap that they stumble with. Sounds absolutely awful.
Do I swear in real life? Sometimes, in front of people I believe won’t be offended.
Do I swear online? No, because a lot of my customers or prospects would find it unprofessional/offensive. YMMV. My customers tend to be more conservative, and yes, Google finds the darnedest things for years. My husband has some potentially awkward stuff from 12 years ago come up in search.
This is a topic I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. I get paid about $10K per speech, and I use the f word all the time. I was raised in Chicago and lived in NYC and LA and it just isn’t a big deal at all there.
But when I gave speeches they were usually to national audiences, like, the national Bankers Association, or PR Association, or whatever. And people abslolutely couldn’t believe I said it on stage. I said it a lot. It just isn’t a big deal to me.
Then I got involved with the farmer. Married him. Moved to a town in rural Wisconsin — not even a town. It’s a farm outside a town of 2000 people. And every time I said fuck, people just died. They just couldn’t believe it. And I realized it’s cultural.
It’s like, the farmer was talking to my seven-year-old son, and he said pussy instead of vagina. And I’m like, what? are you nuts? People don’t say that to kids. Maybe in bed, okay. But honestly, I had never said that word in my life.
So I’m thinking now that fuck is cultural. And if you think you are a tolerant person, if you think you an deal with diversity in your life, then you need to recognize that you learn more about people and connect more with people if you can understand that not everyone shares your outlook on life. Words are not just words. They are cultural.
So I am trying really hard not to say fuck. And this is the first time, ever, in my life, that I have published the word pussy.
Penelope
This comment is fantastic, and I think you are right that it is cultural more than anything, and especially that people from bigger cities use the F-word, a lot. I think the dreaded P-word story really puts things into perspective for me with the F-word. The F-word is very practical to me while the P-word is are-you-kidding offensive.
But just to prove a point to myself, I practiced saying the P-word this week at this cocktail conference I went to. I figured, what the hell, these people mix alcoholic beverages for a living – what’s the worst that could happen? I think I said it twice, without prefacing it with something like “I never use this word in real life” or “I can’t even say it, it’s so gross.” And I’ve gotten better at saying it without offending myself. Others, I’m not sure yet.
Do I use the f-word online?
Fuck yeah.
But only in this, my personal, sort-of-anonymous persona. Never in anything I post online as a representative of a company, or an organization, or someone else. As Penelope points out, it’s cultural. Just like marketing, you have to think about your audience, if you give half a crap about how your message (and your persona) are received.
This is great. I love it. And I completely agree.
I’ve struggled with deciding if using the F-bomb is okay in my writing. But you know what, I say the word fuck pretty often in my speech, and if in our blogs we’re trying to show a true representation of ourselves and not something fake, then I don’t see a problem with it.
And for those that create a dramatic fuss over the F-bomb, well, that’s their thing and maybe they aren’t quite the right fit for our target audience. Of course, if you use it ALL the time when its unnecessary maybe one should tone down the turrets in their writing. But other than that, who gives a fuck?
Thanks for the entertaining post.